


Falling for Me

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Dubious consent due to historical time period, F/M, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Mildly Dubious Consent, More tags to be added, Morning Sickness, Non-Explicit Sex, Pregnancy, Rey Palpatine, See end notes for chapter specific content warning, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26021473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Princess Rey Palpatine, the only living descendent of the current Emperor, is told by her grandfather that she is to marry his most loyal knight, Kylo Ren. Together, they are to have a son who will one day rule as Emperor. Both Rey and Kylo are used to obeying the Emperor's commands and enter into a loveless, political marriage, but as time goes by, they grow more intimate, both emotionally and physically.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 252
Kudos: 308





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my vaguely historical/fantasy Reylo fic! 
> 
> I started this in mid-March at the beginning of the pandemic. It was something I was writing just for myself and had no intention of sharing. But as time went on and the word count went up, I thought maybe I could readjust some bits and make it readable for others.
> 
> Now, for content. I vow to do my absolute best to list any potentially triggering content at the end of each chapter. I am still writing this fic, so I will update the tags as well. If for some reason I forget to tag something or if you find something that you believe may be potentially triggering, please please please let me know. Comment below or message me on Twitter or Tumblr (Twitter is probably your best bet of me seeing it quickest).
> 
> Lastly, thank you to my betas [reylo_garbagecan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylo_garbagecan/pseuds/reylo_garbagecan) and [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), both fantastic writers who very kindly took the time to read and offer notes.

**REY**

He collapses on top of her, his breath hot and quick against her neck, and his large body, damp with sweat, sticks against hers. It’s altogether an uncomfortable position. But at least the worst part is over.

For tonight, at least.

Nine years ago, Rey—formerly just _Rey;_ now _Princess Reyanna Palpatine_ —was taken away from the barren land she’d lived her entire life and told she was actually granddaughter of the Emperor. Upon learning this, Rey had envisioned amazing, glamourous things for herself. An orphan since the age of five who had been raised by the elderly widow of a tailor, Rey knew nothing of family or nice things. Then suddenly, she was being packed into a carriage, told that her grandfather was anxious to meet her, and that she would no longer want for anything. She’d spent the four-day journey happily dreaming about her new life.

The reality was much different.

Though she lived in a luxurious palace, never went hungry, and wanted for no material thing, Rey quickly discovered that her grandfather was both a cold and a cruel man—one who had one objective and one objective only for his only grandchild: to produce a male heir.

And that was how, nearly a decade later, Rey found herself married to her grandfather’s best and most loyal knight, having just experienced both an awkward and fairly painful marriage consummation.

She’d always been aware of him. She’d seen him at banquets and balls, and she’d been envious of the fact that he got to ride the most beautiful horse during her grandfather’s annual birthday parade. But she’d never given any thought to the idea that it’d be him she’d be marrying, and the shock once she’d learned had been a big one.

Her first thought once she’d learned the news on a fateful day in her grandfather’s throne room had been: _I’ve never even spoken to him. I don’t even_ know _him._

And after looking him up and down, after taking in how tall and broad and masculine he was, her second thought was: _He’s a man_ . _He’s a man, and I’m barely more than a girl._

And she didn’t feel more like a girl than in this moment where this _man_ lay atop her.

“Sorry,” her new husband, Kylo Ren, mutters hoarsely as he lifts off of her with a grunt.

Rey doesn’t say anything, just curls away from him and covers her body, clad only in a thin white shift, with a bedsheet.

“He’s going to want to hear about this, you know?” She hears him rise from the bed and pulls up what she assumes are his pants.

“Not the details, of course,” he continues, his voice emotionless. She hears him walk away from the bed, though he’s still nearby. It sounds like he’s rummaging around for something, but she won’t look to see what. “But he’ll want to know that we completed our duty.”

Her voice is barely above a whisper when she responds, “I know.”

“And he’ll want me to come back tomorrow as well. I’m assuming you know that?”

He’s approaching the bed again, apparently having found what he’s looking for.

“Here.”

Reluctantly, she turns to see him offering her a damp washrag. She blushes furiously and refuses to meet his eyes as she accepts it.

He turns away, giving her a moment of privacy to clean herself.

“I don’t want this anymore than you, Rey,” he says, keeping his back to her as she runs the cloth between her legs and upper thighs. “I hope you know that. But it was your grandfather’s command, and I cannot tell him _no_ anymore than you can.”

“I know,” she says again, setting the washrag aside once finished. “I’m done now.”

He turns his back—broad and still bare—to face her and a look that’s nearly sympathetic crosses his face.

“The sooner we conceive, the sooner we can stop.”

She nods. She knows this as well.

“At least for a while,” he mutters. “He’ll likely want a spare to his heir.”

It’s hard not to feel nauseated over all of this.

Kylo picks up his shirt from its spot at the foot of the bed but doesn’t bother putting it back on. He walks to the side door, the one that connects her room to his new one now that he is officially a prince of the Empire.

“Good night, Rey,” he says, exiting the room before she can say anything.

Not that she would have anyway.

***

As expected, he does come back to her the next night. And the night after that. And the night after that as well.

He comes to her room most nights, and to his credit, he seemingly tries to make it quick. On the second night, when her body still isn’t used to him and she’s wincing with every thrust and trying not to cry out from the pain, he offers to “help her out.” But she declines, not wanting to prolong their coupling for any longer than absolutely necessary. For a moment, she thinks her refusal must aggravate him based on the irritated grunt he releases into her neck, but then he continues on, moving a bit slower and going a bit more shallow than before.

After that second night, he brings lubricant, which, thankfully, helps.

She doesn’t just see him in her bed at night. They have dinner together with her grandfather and the court most evenings, though she’s not particularly an active participant during those get-togethers. Her grandfather and Kylo talk about affairs of the Empire as if she’s not even there. Sometimes they don’t speak to her the entire evening, except for at the end of dinner when her grandfather excuses himself by wishing her and Kylo a good night.

The lascivious grin on his face as he says it never fails to make Rey’s skin crawl.

For his part, Kylo just gives him a solemn nod.

One night after their coupling as Kylo sits on the edge of her bed, he asks, “When are you expecting your cycle?”

Rey, for her part, is sitting up in bed, knees to her chest but still holding a bedsheet against her whole body, and staring at his back as he slides back into his trousers.

“Early next week,” she answers, her cheeks hot from the personal question. “So, we’ll know by then, I suppose.”

“Do you…feel any different?”

She remains silent for a moment, taking stock of her body and trying to determine if anything is unusual about it.

Ultimately, she responds, “No. But I’m not sure I would this early on.”

Turning to her, he brushes his dark hair away from his eyes and nods. 

“Well, I hope that you are.”

It’s a strange thing to say because on one hand, she too hopes she’s pregnant. If she was, that would bring an end to these awkward, loveless encounters for the foreseeable future. On the other hand, however, being pregnant would also mean her future child would become just another pawn in her grandfather’s game. And she doesn’t want that for her child.

She’s not sure what to say to this statement, so she pulls the sheet tighter against her body and looks down.

“Rey.”

Her eyes glance up and she sees him now fully dressed in his black trousers and matching undershirt.

His jaw works and his lips purse before he finally asks, “I’m not hurting you, am I? I know you hate this, but that isn’t part, is it? At least not anymore?”

She shakes her head.

“No. Not really.”

It’s not pleasurable and it’s not exactly comfortable, but thankfully, it’s not painful anymore.

“You’d tell me if I was? Hurting you?”

“Yes. I would.”

The way he continues to work his jaw tells her that he wants to say something else, but then after a moment, he gets up from the bed and makes his way to the door.

“Okay. Good night, Rey.”

“Good night,” she answers back softly.

**KYLO**

He’d never paid much mind to the little princess who’d arrived on the palace grounds nine years ago. At the time of her arrival, he’d been nineteen and finishing up his training as a knight of the Empire. He’d been there at the palace gates as part of her ceremonial welcome, along with the rest of those who lived on the palace grounds, when she’d arrived, but aside from that day, the young princess never crossed his mind. 

Hell, for many years, she was hardly ever seen, but as she grew into a teenager, she began escorting her grandfather to formal palace events.

At one of the palace banquets, the Emperor had requested Kylo sit on his right side. It was a great honor, though not an unexpected one because at this point, he had become the Emperor’s greatest and most loyal knight. What was unexpected, however, were the whispered words that came out of the Emperor’s mouth prior to the dessert course that evening.

“Reyanna has become quite a beautiful young woman, hasn’t she?”

Ben glanced at the princess who sat on the Emperor’s left side currently watching the colorful performers who’d been hired to entertain the banquet’s dinner. She’d been dressed in a lavender ball gown with her hair in an updo and decorated with matching flowers. 

It was the first time he’d ever taken a real look at the princess. He supposes he’d absently noticed that she’d grown breasts and developed curves, but he couldn’t say he’d ever taken the time to consider her in any physical way. Still, looking at her now, he supposed she was very pretty.

“Very much so,” he wound up replying.

It was a diplomatic answer, and one that had pleased the Emperor.

“She is my only heir. And an insufficient one due to her sex.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Women can’t be expected to rule. I’ll need her to marry and produce a proper heir—a son.”

The look the Emperor gave Kylo put him on edge. Was he implying what Kylo thought he was?

“I’ve been mulling it over, you see. I can’t very well marry her off to a prince from another kingdom, as she’d then become _their_ princess. And I won’t marry her off to some feckless nobody from the kingdom. So, that leaves me with limited choices.”

He’d paused as the desserts, small bowls of chocolate mousse, were brought to the table. Kylo watched silently as the Emperor took a bite of the fluffy dessert, while not daring to sample his own. The Emperor then put his spoon down, looked Kylo squarely in the eye, and said, “It leaves me with you.”

Maintaining his outward appearance of impassivity, something he’d learned at the Emperor’s feet, he asked, “Me, sir?”

“Yes. You will marry Reyanna when she is of age. Together the two of you will give me a great-grandson, whom I will begin training in the ways of running the kingdom.”

“I see.”

“This is a great honor and a huge responsibility I’m placing on your shoulders, Kylo. Particularly because if I die before my heir is ready to lead, you will act as regent until he is ready.”

Though he took great honor in being a knight, ruling wasn’t something Kylo ever envisioned for himself. Hell, _marriage_ wasn’t something he’d really envisioned for himself either. But now the Emperor was telling his future would involve not one—but possibly both—of those things. And it wasn’t like Kylo could turn him down. The Emperor had saved Kylo, had given him everything he currently had. 

“When, sir?”

“Another year or two,” the Emperor answered, returning to his dessert and motioning that Kylo should do the same. “Reyanna’s still a bit young and she’s still finishing up her tutoring. I’ll reevaluate in a year or so.”

And he did. Just over a year after that initial conversation, the Emperor had summoned Kylo into the throne room where he found the Emperor waiting for him on his throne with Princess Reyanna standing at his side, looking both confused and anxious.

“Kylo,” the Emperor greeted, slowly rising from his throne. “Welcome. Come closer. I’d like to have a discussion with you and Reyanna.”

Kylo rose from the knee he’d been kneeling on and approached the throne.

The Emperor announced his plan for Kylo and Reyanna to marry in six months’ time. Kylo watched as the princess’ eyes widened in horror for just a split second before she schooled her expression into a blank one.

Between that time and the time of their wedding, they'd spent only a few hours together, going on walks through the expansive gardens, accompanied by a chaperone who always followed six feet behind them. During those short promenades, Kylo learned that Princess Reyanna preferred to go by _Rey_ , that she could actually ride horses though she hadn’t been on one in years because her grandfather feared she’d get injured, and that for a woman of barely nineteen, she was quite mature.

Yes, in many ways, Rey was quite mature. But when Kylo takes her to bed, it confirms what he’d highly suspected: when it came to matters of the flesh: Rey was not mature at all. He’s relieved that she was at least educated on what was supposed to happen, but it’s clear based on her grimacing face and the soft whimpers that she tries to hide, that this is her first experience with sex.

The following morning, Kylo is called to see the Emperor.

Just as he suspected, His Majesty wants a report on the evening’s activities.

“The marriage has been consummated,” Kylo tells him, standing ramrod straight with his hands behind his back.

From his throne, the Emperor’s wrinkled face breaks into a wide grin, and he claps his hands together in delight. The reaction makes Kylo’s skin prickle with unease.

“Very good, Kylo,” he praises. “And Reyanna? She gave you no trouble?”

It’s an invasive and disturbing question, to say the least. Kylo may be a loyal servant and grateful for all the Emperor has done for him, but Kylo cannot help but be bothered by the question. The Emperor now knows they’ve consummated the marriage; he doesn’t need to be privy to anything else.

Kylo replies with a simple, “The Princess was perfectly fine.”

“Wonderful. I expect you to return with great frequency.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I will.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/castles_crowns) and/or [Tumblr!](https://castles-and-crowns.tumblr.com)
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Mild dubcon due to arranged marriage and the wish for an heir. Nothing explicit  
> -Mention of painful sex. Nothing explicit  
> -Talk of pregnancy


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love on the first chapter!
> 
> Once again, thanks to my betas [reylo_garbagecan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylo_garbagecan/pseuds/reylo_garbagecan) and [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89) for looking over this for me.

**REY**

She wakes up sticky with blood between her legs.

She cries, whether out of distress or relief she’s not sure, in her bed all day and into the evening. Her lady’s maid, Louise, tries to get her up for dinner, and when Rey refuses, she tries to have the meals brought to her, but Rey has no appetite.

Finally, in the late evening, Rey requests Louise draw her a bath, and the maid jumps at the opportunity, clearly happy to aid her mistress in some way. So worn out from crying all day, Rey falls asleep soaking in the warm water and only wakes when there’s a knock at her door.

“Princess?” Louise calls, her voice sounding apprehensive.

“Yes?” Rey mumbles, her head foggy from sleep.

“Your husband’s just arrived. Should I, uh, send him away?”

_ Yes,  _ she thinks, tears springing to her eyes once more.

She’d like nothing more than to avoid her husband right now and escape this uncomfortable conversation, but he’s been almost nothing but courteous to her throughout this whole ordeal, and she feels he deserves to hear the news from her personally.

Swallowing down her emotions, Rey rises from the tub.

“No, I’ll come out. But could you help me re-dress, please?”

Louise comes in, quickly dressing Rey in a much less fashionable but much more comfortable, much more modest shift than she’d normally wear when receiving a night visit from her husband, and then quickly skitters out of the room. Rey takes a fortifying breath and then enters her bedroom, where her husband is standing, his back to her as he inspects some of the perfumes on her vanity. He turns around at the sound of her entering, and she inwardly notes the furrow of his brow. She can’t help but wonder if it’s in part due to her frumpy nightgown.

“Are you unwell?”

She winces. “You could say that.”

Kylo takes half a step toward Rey.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong?”

Rey bites her lip hard in an attempt to control her emotions.

“My cycle began today.”

His eyes widen in surprise, and she can’t blame him. They’ve shared a bed more nights than not over the past month.

“I’m sorry,” she says, ashamed of how weak her voice sounds.

Kylo takes another step toward her, this time a full one.

“You don’t need to apologize, Rey.”

“But he’s going to be upset.”

He sort of half shrugs. “I’ll likely face the brunt of it, seeing as how I’ll be the one to tell him when he asks. If that’s any comfort.”

She swipes at her eyes, which have begun to leak with tears.

“Rey,” he says, his voice somehow both gentle and commanding. It makes her look up at him and listen. “It may take time. One of the other knights—it took him and his wife two years to conceive.”

“I know,” she nods tearfully.

“I know you hate this,” he says, his dark eyes uncharacteristically soft as he holds her attention. “Trust me, I don’t enjoy it much either. When I sleep with a woman, I like her to be an enthusiastic participant. I have no interest in sleeping with women who don’t want to be sleeping with me.”

She doesn’t reply.

“I offered to…help. To make it, perhaps, more enjoyable for you. That offer still stands.”

Her cheeks burn with the thought. She’s not completely unknowledgeable about what he’s talking about, but the thought of a man, especially one she doesn’t love let alone know well, doing that to her… _ it’s too much. _

She shakes her head. In the smallest voice, she responds, “No, thank you.”

He presses his lips together and gives a curt but accepting nod.

“So, there’s nothing I can do then? I can’t help in any way?”

“It’s not just about you,” she says, the dam breaking. It’s not just tears now. It’s sobs violently wracking her body. “And it’s not just about sex either. It’s about not having a  _ choice _ . I’ve never had a choice in any of this—not since I came here nine years ago.”

It’s the first time she’s ever admitted that out loud, and it’s strange that it’s  _ him  _ to whom she’s just admitted it. But it’s out there now. She can only hope he won’t be mad or worse, tell her grandfather.

But he doesn’t seem mad. Not at all, in fact, because instead of lashing out in some way, he closes the space between them and takes her hands in his.

“I’m sorry this wasn’t the life you had envisioned for yourself,” he tells her. “Maybe you wanted to be a wife someday, I don’t know, but I understand you having no desire to be one to a stranger. And I’d assume that if you desired children, you’d want them brought up in an environment where they were loved and protected. And I’m sorry, but I’ve never really been good at  _ loving.  _ I’m not sure I know how, to be honest. What I do know how to do, though, is fight. And with fighting comes protecting. And I swear to you, Rey, that when we do have our child, I will protect him. Even if I can offer nothing else as your husband, I can offer you that.”

It’s the most he’s ever said to her at one time since they’ve met, and she cannot deny that his words bring her some small comfort, assuming that they are sincere. 

“You believe me, don’t you, Rey?” he asks, voice quiet and earnest, as he squeezes her hands.

“I do.”

“Okay,” he nods, seeming satisfied with her answer. “Okay, good.” He drops her hands, and then, to her surprise, he reaches up and wipes some of the tears from her face. “I’ll leave you to rest now.”

“Thank you, Kylo,” she whispers.

His jaw sort of twitches, and she wonders if it’s in response to her gratitude or to the use of his name—she’s pretty sure it’s the first time she’s called him that to his face. 

***

He returns six days later after she sends word through her embarrassed lady’s maid that she is ready to receive him again. She’s already in her bed waiting for him and when he takes her, she notices he’s being particularly gentle with her this time. Not that he wasn’t usually gentle. He’d always gone out of his way to treat her with care. She’d always gotten the impression that many nights he was holding himself back for her sake, which she appreciated, though she never expressed it.

Tonight feels different though. For one, he kisses her, though never on the lips. His lips, which she has to admit are excruciatingly soft, explore her neck and her collarbone and even the upper part of her chest not covered by her shift. His hands, too, do their part in exploring—moving up and down the sides of her body, rubbing and occasionally squeezing but never lingering in one place for too long. Despite being careful with her, he doesn’t drag it out for longer than necessary—something she is grateful for. And to her relief, his lips never make it down to her breasts and his hands never venture between her legs.

It’s not altogether an unpleasant experience; truthfully, it’s quite the opposite. It’s... _ nice. _ The only unpleasant part is that it’s all foreign to her. She’s not sure how to react. Does she tell him it feels good? Does she stay silent?

When he slips inside her, it’s easier than it’s ever been. She’s so surprised, she lets out a little gasp.

“Are you okay?” he grunts against her neck, pausing his movements.

“Yeah,” she says, a little breathless. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

His voice sounds strained when he responds. “You sure?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” she bites out, and to her surprise, she finds she wants him to stop asking questions and just keep  _ moving. _

He does, thankfully, and as he continues, she can see for the first time how this could be quite the pleasurable experience under the right conditions and with the right person.

When they’re finished, he rolls off of her as he always does, but this time, he doesn’t immediately get out of the bed.

“There’s some unrest up North on the border. People are getting… _ ideas _ and your grandfather’s getting worried about a rebellion.”

“Oh.”

She had curled up on her side, facing away from him, giving him his privacy as she thought he was going to get up and re-dress, but his words spark the tiniest bit of interest in her, so she turns to him. He’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling with the bedsheet barely covering his waist. One arm is under his head, while the other rests on his stomach. He looks thoughtful.

“Yeah. He’s talking about sending the knights and some troops there to ensure stability.”

“To force them into submission, you mean?”

For the first time ever, she hears him chuckle. It’s a surprisingly pleasant sound, low and clipped but genuine.

“Basically,” he answers. “He’s hoping it won’t come to that, of course. But if it does, I might be gone for a while, so you’ll get a little… _ reprieve  _ from me.”

He turns his head toward her, offering her a wry smile and it’s so endearing that she can’t help but smile back at him.

“Will you be in danger?”

“He’d prefer if we just go there and… _ intimidate  _ them a little, but there’s always the chance of some danger.”

She hums, taking in that information. She doesn’t wish bad things on Kylo, but she can’t help but wonder what her life would be like if he was suddenly gone from it.

***

Kylo still comes to her room nearly every night, but it becomes a habit for him to stick around for at least a little bit. He does most of the talking, telling her about adventures and battles he’s fought in. Rey thinks he’s lived a rather fascinating life, one much more fascinating than the one she’s lived in her nineteen years.

She wonders how old he is. She knows he’s older than her, of course, probably a few good years older, but she thinks it’d be nice to know her husband’s actual age, so one day, she asks him.

“I’ll be twenty-nine next month,” he answers, sitting up in the bed and running a hand through that long black hair that, just moments ago, had been tickling her neck.

“Oh.”

“Why?” He quirks a brow at her. “Is that older or younger than you thought?”

“I’m…not sure,” she replies after giving his questions a moment of thought. She doesn’t really know what she thought, if she’s being honest. But she’s happy to know he’s not  _ too  _ much older than her.

“You’re nineteen. I know that. Your grandfather told me as much when he ordered me to marry you.”

“Were you angry with him?” she asks, now also sitting up. She makes sure to cover herself with a sheet because though she may be wearing a shift, it’s incredibly see-through.

“For commanding me to marry you?”

“Yes.”

He thinks for a second before tilting his head from side to side.

“I wasn’t thrilled about it. But it’s not as if there was another woman out there that I was trying to court. And I owe nearly everything to your grandfather, so I suppose I just saw it as an extension of my duty.”

“What do you mean you owe him everything?”

His face, which a second before had been open and contemplative, immediately closes off.

“What?” she asks.

“It’s not something I talk about,” he says, now rising from the bed. Usually, she can tell when their evenings together come to a close, and she’s able to politely turn around and give him his privacy while he redresses. She’s not sure if he wants it, but it’s what she would want, so she affords him the same courtesy.

This time, however, he moves from the bed so quickly that she sees a flash of his bare behind in the candlelight, a site she finds herself somewhat fascinated by, before she catches herself and turns away.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” she finds herself saying.

“You didn’t,” she hears him say. “I just don’t wish to talk about what came before my becoming a knight for the Empire.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“It is getting late though, so I’m going back to my room. Good night, Rey.”

Rey turns around once more and sees Kylo walking to the door that connects their rooms.

“Good night, Kylo.”

She waits until he’s in his own room before sighing and blowing out the candle beside her bed.

**KYLO**

The Emperor is decidedly  _ not  _ happy to hear that Rey is not pregnant.

The morning after Rey tells him, he tells the Emperor who makes it painfully clear to Kylo that he better be doing all that he can to ensure a pregnancy. Kylo reassures his master that he absolutely is, and the Emperor sets him with a very long, very chilling look before abruptly switching topics and informing him of a possible insurgence in their northern territory.

When Rey’s cycle ends, he returns to her room for their nightly engagement. There’s something about returning to her room that first night that feels  _ strange.  _ After seeing her so upset that night, he committed himself to being delicate with her. She’d turned down his offer to pleasure her, which he honors, but he decides that first night back to attempt to be affectionate, to hopefully open her up, if only just a little. He’s careful, never letting his hands stray to her breasts or between her legs, but he does scatter kisses along her face, neck, collarbone, and upper chest, and to his relief, when it’s time to enter her, he slides in easily without the help of lubricant.

Finding that paying a little extra attention to her relieves some of the guilt he’d felt about possibly hurting her, he damn near smiles until she gasps into his ear.

Immediately, he freezes and checks in with her. She assures him that she’s fine.

“You sure?” he asks, straining with the effort to remain still.

“Yes.”

So, he keeps moving.

After, he doesn’t tell Rey anything about her grandfather’s reaction from a few days before, and she doesn’t ask. Instead, he tells her about the trouble up North and makes an attempt at humor, telling her if he’s sent there to reestablish peace, she’ll get a break from him. He’ll admit that he took a gamble with the joke, as he doesn’t particularly have a strong sense of humor nor does he know Rey’s sense of humor, but to his relief, she smiles at the comment, and he thinks this is the first time he’s seen her smile. He finds that he likes it.

***

One early morning, Kylo, flanked by two of his knights, makes his way into the city to put in an order for new weaponry from the blacksmith. Further talks with the Emperor have him nearly certain that he will be leading troops to quell the unrest on the Northern border, so he wants to ensure his weapons are the best they can be.

As he and two of his knights—Armitage Hux and Dopheld Mitaka—ride into town, he listens to them discuss their respective families. Hux, who has been married for six years and has two young children, tells Mitaka, who’s been married just over a year and has a newborn, about how fathers are useless with infants.

“All they seem to do is eat and shit,” Hux says with an air of disgust. “And they have mothers and nursemaids for that.”

“Babies need affection though. They need to be held and rocked, don’t they?” Mitaka, the younger of the two, counters.

Hux seems to think it over for a few seconds and then responds. “I suppose. I held both my sons when they were infants, of course, but I only began to bond with them much later when they started developing the ability to think and didn’t need help with every last thing.”

Aside from fulfilling his duty to the Emperor, Kylo finds he doesn’t have much desire to be a father; however, there is something about Hux’s arrogant and dismissive tone when talking about his children that makes Kylo bristle. Perhaps because his knight’s attitude reminds him of his own father’s attitude toward fatherhood.

_ That bastard _ , he thinks darkly. 

When they get to the city, Kylo and his knights split up—Hux is going to the town jeweler while Mitaka visits the tailor’s. Kylo, making his way to the blacksmith, feels his mood continue to darken, and he starts to desperately wish there was another blacksmith worth his salt that he could get his weapons from, but alas, the man is known as the best by everyone in the city.

Taking a deep breath in through his nostrils, Kylo steps into the blacksmith’s shop, immediately spotting the man who has been the bane of his existence since they were children.

The blacksmith, a tan man of medium height, looks up from his current work in progress when he sees Kylo enter his shop. A nearly mischievous grin crosses his face, and Kylo bites back the groan threatening to come out.

“Solo! Good to see you again! It’s been too long!”

He puts his work down and runs a dirty hand through his curly black locks. He’s still grinning as he approaches Kylo, hands on hips and looking him up and down as if he’s assessing him.

“You could get in serious trouble for calling me that, Dameron,” Kylo says, standing in place.

Dameron, whose first name is Poe, snorts. “Well, I’m not going to call you  _ Kylo Ren.  _ That’s just absurd.”

“Again. Serious trouble.”

The trouble-making blacksmith just chuckles fondly. The sound grates on Kylo’s nerves.

“What can I do for you?”

“I need a new sword. And a shield.”

Dameron nods. “Same specifications as last time?”

“Yes.”

“And when would you need it?”

“Let’s say a month at the latest.”

“Great. I’ll have it done in two months.”

“ _ Poe _ ,” Kylo warns.

Dameron just shakes his head, chuckling. “I’ll have it done in a month. Likely before then.”

He leans casually against a wooden work bench and that infuriating smirk returns. Kylo knows he’s about to be in for something and mentally reminds himself that Poe Dameron is the best blacksmith around and because of that, he can’t pummel him for being insufferable and knowing way too much about his past life.

“I heard you got married. Congratulations.”

“It was political,” Kylo responds, no emotion in his voice.

“You married the Emperor’s granddaughter. Of course it was political. She’s quite the beauty though, isn’t she? I remember being struck by her looks last year during the Emperor’s birthday parade.”

Kylo’s jaw clenches. “She’s attractive, yes.”

“Well, that’s good at least. I’m sure it makes the  _ mechanics _ of your political marriage a bit easier.”

“You’re overstepping,” Kylo warns, his voice dark and dangerous.

Of course, Dameron doesn’t look the least bit intimidated. He only holds his hands up, palms facing Kylo, in a conciliatory manner.

“I’m sorry.”

Kylo rolls his eyes. “Just have my things ready by the end of the month. And send word to the castle if they’re finished before then.”

“Will do, Ben.”

Kylo, who had just turned to leave, snaps his head back around and glares at the blacksmith.

“It was a slip,” Dameron says innocently. “I’m sorry.”

Kylo spares his childhood friend Poe Dameron one more second of his murderous gaze before turning for good and leaving the shop.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Very mild dubcon due to arranged marriage. Nothing explicit  
> -Talk of pregnancy
> 
> As always, if I forgot to tag something, don't hesitate to let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [reylo_garbagecan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylo_garbagecan/pseuds/reylo_garbagecan) and [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89) for looking over this!
> 
> A more specific list of content is in the end notes.

**REY**

For the most part, Rey’s grandfather has always ignored her unless he needs something from her. Prior to her marriage, she was his escort at the balls and festival celebrations that he hosted at the palace. And most nights she shared dinner with him, both before and after her marriage. But aside from that, she doesn’t typically see or talk to her grandfather much.

Not that she’d complain about that.

But her grandfather’s general apathy towards her is why she’s surprised to hear from one of her grandfather’s men that he is requesting afternoon tea in the palace gardens. She’s even more surprised when she arrives in the gardens and finds that Kylo is not sitting beside her grandfather. It appears as if it’s just going to be the two of them.

“Reyanna,” her grandfather greets, not quite warmly, as he rises from the small circular table that has been set up for their afternoon tea.

Rey approaches her grandfather and kisses him on the cheek before stepping back and falling into a quick curtsy.

“How are you doing today?” 

Rey joins him at the table, sitting once he does.

“I’m doing well, thank you,” she responds. “You?”

“Busy as usual. I had a meeting this morning with your husband and the other knights.”

Rey looks up from pouring her tea. “Oh?”

“Yes. We’re making plans for squashing a possible insurgence up on the Northern borders.”

Rey nods as if she’s hearing this information for the first time. She figures her grandfather would likely not be keen on his best knight sharing the more intimate goings-on of the Empire with his wife, so she doesn’t reveal that this is not new information to her.

“I see,” Rey says, her tone neutral.

“So, it is possible that Kylo might have had to lead the knights North to stabilize things for me.”

She nods again before taking a sip of her tea. Her grandfather fixes her with a stern look that sends shivers down her body.

“You understand what this means, don’t you?”

“That he may be gone for awhile?” she tries.

Her grandfather laughs, but there’s no mirth in it.

“Silly girl,” he says condescendingly. “It  _ means  _ he may be gone for months. Valuable months where you two could be trying to conceive a child.”

Rey flushes and her eyes drop to the white lace tablecloth.

“Look at me, Reyanna,” her grandfather immediately snaps.

Her head pops up, and she meets her grandfather’s cold eyes.

“Kylo tells me he comes to your room often.”

“Yes, he does.”

“But not every night?”

“Nearly every night,” she defends meekly.

“But  _ not  _ every night?” 

“No.”

“And why is that?”

“I...I suppose you’d have to ask him,” she answers weakly. She’s given up on tea or sandwiches at this point, having completely lost her appetite,and has taken to fidgeting with her hands in her lap where her grandfather cannot see or, worse, mock how uncomfortable she is.

“I did ask him. He says it’s because he’s tired some nights.”

She and Kylo have never talked about it, but Rey suspects the real reason is, at least in part, so that she can have a break from him.

Her grandfather continues. “I told him that that was no longer acceptable. I need an heir, Reyanna. I’m getting old, and I’d prefer to at least be able to start training my successor before I pass on.”

He pauses, his voice and eyes both hard as stone at this point.

“And in order for that to happen, I need you  _ to do your duty _ ,” he exclaims, his fist coming down hard against the table on the last word and causing her to jump and clutch a hand to her chest.

He seems to take pleasure in scaring her because he grins and then, with the hand that had just been a fist, reaches for her own hand and takes it, placing them both on the table. For such an old man, his grip on her hand is tight, just short of being painful, but Rey knows if she flinches, the grip and his words will become much worse, so she holds herself together.

“From now on, if Kylo does not come to your room, you will go to him. Do you understand?”

She’d already lost her appetite, but now she feels sick to her stomach.

“I do, Grandfather.”

His grin widens and he finally lets go of her hand, insteading gesturing to the tray of sandwiches which had been laid out for them.

“Wonderful. Now eat, Reyanna. You must remain healthy in order to conceive.”

Her stomach roils uncomfortably just looking at the tray, but she knows defying him would lead to worse consequences than an upset stomach, so she picks up a sandwich and takes a bite. It tastes like ash in her mouth.

***

He doesn’t come to her room that night, so, with a pounding heart, she goes to him.

Her heart beats a violent rhythm in her chest as her trembling fingers grip the knob of the door that separates their rooms. She’s never done this before, of course; he’s always come to her. And as she slowly opens the door, she sees him right away, lit by a single candle, sitting up in bed and reading a book. Apparently, she’d opened the door quietly enough that he hadn't heard her.

She just stands there for a moment, frozen, and trying to determine the best course of action. He must sense her presence in his room though because he closes his book, places it down on the end table beside his bed, and looks up at her.

“Rey?”

Nervously, she takes a few steps towards his bed.

“You didn’t come to my room tonight,” she says, eyes darting around the unfamiliar room before finally meeting his gaze.

He frowns. “No, I didn’t. I thought maybe you could...use a rest since I’ve come the last three nights.”

_ So, she was right. _

“I had tea with my grandfather today. He told me he’s still thinking about sending you and the knights up north.”

“That’s correct.”

She takes another step towards the bed.

“And with the prospect of you leaving, he’s particularly anxious for an heir.”

His face twists into a bitter expression.

“Yes, he told me that too.”

“And he said--he said that on the nights you don’t come to me, it is my duty to come to you.”

“Rey,” he sighs, rising from the bed. “We’re the only ones who know what happens behind these walls.”

“But he has eyes and ears everywhere. Surely, you know that. He has...ways of finding out, I’m certain of it.”

She’s thinking not just of Louise, the maidservants, and laundresses who all have some sort of contact with her underthings and bedsheets  but also of the whispers she’s always heard of supposed secret passageways throughout the castle that the Emperor uses for spying.

Could he be using a secret passageway to spy on them too?

He considers her statement for a moment before frowning and nodding.

“Yes.”

“So…” She trails off. Her face is burning hot, and she’s grateful Kylo’s only got that single candle lighting his room because perhaps he can’t see how embarrassed she is.

His lips purse together, and again, he seems to think for a moment. Finally, he swallows, and in a gentle voice, he says, “Okay, Rey.”

Kylo offers his hand to Rey, and still trembling, she accepts. He leads her to his bed and allows her a moment to shed her robe and get comfortable before he climbs over her.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs before his lips latch on to a particularly tender spot behind her ear.

“Oh,” she breathes out, her body sparking with sensation.

He must misinterpret her exclamation for one of discomfort because he mutters another apology against her neck.

“It’s fine,” she whispers. She surprises herself then by reaching up to rub up and down his arms, attempting to soothe the guilt she knows he must feel.

***

“We’ll know soon, won’t we?” he asks, after, when they’re lying in his bed.

He’s taken his usual position on his back, while her typical position is lying on her side, facing away away from him.

During the act itself, she always either looks to the side or closes her eyes, refusing to meet his gaze. Similarly, afterward, she does her best not look at him, at least in the immediate aftermath. Perhaps, it’s odd when they talk that they’re not looking at each other, but Rey can’t bring herself to look into his eyes after the forced intimacy they’ve just shared together. Especially not as of lately when more involuntary noises escape her during their couplings. It’s far too embarrassing.

“Yes,” she answers, exhaling a nervous breath. “A few days from now, hopefully.”

“Rey.”

His voice is so delicate that she can’t help but turn to face him. His hand is raised, and he lowers it to run her arm once.

“It’ll be okay.”

She bites her lip, hard, in an attempt to stop the tears that have suddenly appeared from falling from her eyes.

***

  
  


She’s a day late.

Then, she’s two days late.

Then a week.

Then three weeks.

“Still nothing?” Kylo asks when he comes to her room in the third week.

She’d told him after three days, but they’d decided to keep it to themselves, just in case it was a false alarm.

“Nothing,” she replies.

“I’ll contact the court physician tomorrow morning then.”

“Should we tell Grandfather first?”

“If we can avoid it, I think we should wait until we have more confirmation.”

She nods, trusting his opinion on the matter.

“This might be it, Rey,” he says, putting both hands on her shoulder. “We might have done it.”

He’s not smiling, but there’s the tiniest hint of excitement in his voice. She suspects that it mostly stems from relief. Rey cannot personally allow herself to feel relief just yet because even if she is pregnant, it’s not going to be great news. It's mixed news at best.

***

The physician won’t confirm anything to Rey, much to her chagrin. The man waits until the exam is over and then calls Kylo back into the room.

Rey, who had previously been lying uncomfortably on her back on the bed, sits up and moves to the edge of the bed. Kylo stands right beside her, his hand gripping the bedpost.

“Well?”

“It would appear that the princess is with child,” the physician says to Kylo, as if she’s not there. Rey can hear Kylo inhale sharply. Then to both of them, the physician adds, “Congratulations, your highnesses.”

Rey turns to her husband and finds him staring at her, his eyes wide in disbelief, which is almost amusing considering they had both suspected it.

“Should I alert the Emperor?”

“Yes,” Kylo replies, nodding to the doctor. “And I will come with you. Rey, perhaps you want to rest?”

It’s a kindness, what he’s doing for her. Offering her a way to process this news on her own without her grandfather’s immediate interference. Of course, she’ll have to face him soon, likely at dinner tonight, but at least she’ll have a few hours on her own first.

“Yes,” she replies. “Yes, that would be very nice.”

***

  
  


Dinner that night is particularly rich and sumptuous, as her grandfather wishes to celebrate the news and has chosen to announce the pregnancy to the court. The food is so heavy and flavorful, it actually makes Rey’s stomach churn. Her grandfather makes a toast to them in front of the two dozen or so members of the court who have joined them for the evening. He praises Kylo’s strength and virility, while referring to Rey as the beautiful royal vessel that holds the future of the Empire. The whole thing makes her skin crawl, but she does her best to smile through it. Kylo, as fits his personality, remains mostly stoic, but she thinks she spots a hint of pride in the shape of his shoulders and the gleam of his eye.

Before her grandfather retires to his chambers, he looks at the two of them and, in a dry voice, says, “I guess you’ll be able to enjoy the peace of your own beds once more.” Then to Kylo, he adds, “And you can go back to your whorehouses, if you please.”

He walks away then, followed by his personal guards, adorned in blood red.

Suddenly, Rey can no longer stomach the food she’d eaten for dinner. With her grandfather gone, she doesn’t even bother getting up politely and instead runs out of the dining hall and out into the gardens to empty the contents of her stomach.

Rose, one of the ladies of the court close to Rey’s age and with whom she's always been friendly, follows her outside.

“Your Highness, are you alright?” she asks, coming up behind her.

Lacking a handkerchief, Rey wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and looks up. “I believe the food this evening was too rich for my newly sensitive stomach. Would you be so kind as to escort me back to my chambers?”

She spots a tall shadow standing on the veranda that opens the dining hall to the gadens, and her stomach begins to twist again. She doesn’t want to see  _ him  _ right now.

“Yes. Yes, of course,” Rose answers, taking Rey gently by the arm and leading her to a side entrance so that she won’t have to appear in front of the remaining diners.

***

Rey goes to bed immediately upon getting to her room, though she doesn’t instantly fall asleep. Her thoughts race from the mind-boggling fact she’s been grappling with all day that she is now with child to the equally wild fact that her husband apparently seeks pleasure in whorehouses. She supposes she shouldn’t be surprised by that fact, but she can’t help but to be.  He’d seemed...different somehow.

The door, the one separating her room from Kylo’s, opens and she hears footsteps she's become quite familiar with over the past two months approaching her bed. Not wanting or willing to face him, she pretends to be asleep.

“Rey?” he whispers into the darkness.

She doesn’t respond, insteading focusing on keeping her breathing deep and even.

“Rey?” he softly calls again. “I...I wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”

Her heart clenches a little at his seemingly kind words, and she’s tempted to respond, but she doesn’t. 

He doesn’t call out to her again, but she can tell that he is still standing in her room. She can practically feel his eyes on her.

Finally, she hears a small sigh. The footsteps approach her bed, and she feels the blanket from her bed being draped over her. He remains stationary for a few seconds before she hears his footsteps finally retreat.

Even after he’s gone, she doesn’t fall asleep for a long time.

**KYLO**

Kylo doesn’t go to Rey’s room, and he does so because he’s gone the past three nights and figures they could both use the break. Though he tries not to dwell on it, it’s emotionally draining to have relations with someone who seems to only just tolerate his presence. That’s not to say things between them haven’t changed since their wedding night; things, from Kylo’s perspective, have definitely thawed since the first night they shared together. 

They perform their duty most nights. It’s mostly clinical, but Kylo thinks they’ve both adapted to it. He wouldn’t say they’re  _ comfortable  _ with it or each other, per se, but they talk after now, which is surprisingly nice.  It’s different from his previous experiences, all of which he’s had in brothels and whorehouses. There was no talking, no emotional intimacy there, and he’s finding he actually really enjoys that aspect of having a wife. Maybe not all marriages are like that, but with Rey, it is.

Rey, he finds, is actually a great conversationalist. She’s both interested and interesting, openly sharing many parts of her life with only the slightest prodding. She also inquires about  _ his _ life. On that front, he shares only details from the last few years. She tried to get more personal with him once, and he’d shut her down, something he feels more guilt over than he imagined he would due to the abrupt tone he’d used with her.

Overall though, things have certainly improved between him and Rey, and because they’ve spent the last three nights together, he decides not to go to her room.

Which is why it’s quite the surprise when Rey enters  _ his  _ room.

In a trembling voice, she tells him that the Emperor has commanded her to ensure that they are spending all of their nights together, especially because Kylo will more than likely be leaving soon. He’d told the same thing to Kylo, but Kylo, out of foolishness and arrogance, had elected to ignore him, a rare occurrence for the Emperor’s most loyal knight. He’d just figured no one would know what happens between them in the privacy of their own chambers.

“But he has eyes and ears everywhere. Surely, you know that,” she says, and Kylo can’t miss the look of pure misery on her face. “He has...ways of finding out, I’m certain of it.”

She doesn’t want this anymore than he does, but she’s scared.

“Okay, Rey,” he tells her, offering his hand to her and leading her back to his bed.

***

Her cycle is a few days late. A few days turn into a few weeks, and Kylo becomes convinced that they’ve successfully conceived a child. Still, they keep it to themselves at first, not wanting to alert anyone, least of all the Emperor, who would surely get his hopes up and be gravely disappointed if Rey was, in fact,  _ not _ with child.

But at the three-week mark, they make the decision to contact the court physician, who examines Rey the next day.

Kylo is not allowed in the room for the actual examination but is called back in the room once it’s complete.

“Well?”

“It would appear that the princess is with child. Congratulations, your highnesses.”

It’s a strange feeling. Logically, he knew that this was probably the case, but to hear it confirmed by an expert is a whole other thing entirely.

Rey’s eyes meet his, and they share in this moment of silent disbelief.

They’ve completed their duty.

He’s going to be a father.

“Should I alert the Emperor?”

“Yes,” Kylo replies, his eyes breaking from Rey’s and returning to the physician’s. “And I will come with you. Rey, perhaps you want to rest?”

From where she rests in her bed, Rey nods, and there’s a gratefulness in her voice when she responds.

“Yes. Yes, that would be very nice.”

***

Kylo and the court physician kneel in front of the Emperor, who looks down on them from his throne.

“Rise,” he tells them after a moment.

Both men do.

“I suppose this has something to do with Princess Reyanna,” the Emperor says, raising a white eyebrow. “Is she well?”

“Your majesty, I’m happy to report that the princess is with child,” the physician reports. His voice drips with pride as if  _ he  _ had something to do with the child’s conception. It grates on Kylo’s nerves.

Kylo has very rarely seen the Emperor look like he does in this moment. The man’s face is alight with glee. He looks  _ blissfully  _ happy.

“Well done, Kylo,” he congratulates. “I knew it wouldn’t take long.”

He nods his head once in deference. “Thank you, sir.”

“And thank you,” the Emperor continues, bringing his attention to the physician. “I trust you will take good care of Reyanna during these upcoming months.”

“Of course, your majesty,” the physician says.

“Thank you for bringing this great news to my attention. We will be sure to have a magnificent feast tonight in celebration.”

They’re dismissed immediately after, and it occurs to Kylo as they’re exiting the throne room that the Emperor didn’t at all inquire about Rey’s health.

***

Rey’s first bout of sickness appears immediately after dinner that night.

The Emperor is about to retire to the royal suite for the night after their meal, but before he does, he speaks in a soft voice, so that only they can hear.

“I guess you’ll be able to enjoy the peace of your own beds once more,” he says, before directing his attention to Kylo. “And you can go back to your whorehouses, if you please.”

His cheeks heat at the bawdy comment. Still seated at the table, Kylo turns to Rey, not sure if he’s going to explain the Emperor’s comment or just gauge her reaction, but before he can do anything, he notices her face is a sick shade of green.

Suddenly, she rises from the table and sprints from the room, heading for the gardens. Kylo stands from his chair, prepared to go after her, but Rose, one of the ladies of the court who has just witnessed Rey’s flight, motions for him to stay put. 

“I’ll tend to her, your highness,” she says, approaching Kylo. “This is a lady’s issue, after all.”

Reluctantly, Kylo nods and lets the young woman go after Rey. But moments later, he decides he needs to check on her.

As he exits the hall and makes his way onto the veranda, he spots Rey from a distance, being comforted by Lady Rose. There’s this sudden weird pull, compelling him to her side, to ensure she’s okay. Perhaps it’s because her new condition is his fault or perhaps it’s just because he’s grown fond of her. But then he sees Rose help Rey up and lead her away, so he remains in place, watching helplessly instead.

  
Later, when he goes to check on her in her room, he finds her already asleep in her bed. Feeling like he should do  _ something _ , he covers her with a blanket and takes a moment to just  _ look  _ at his wife before returning to his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this universe, no one knows that a woman's fertility is cyclical and that she can't get pregnant at any time.
> 
> Thank you for reading. I'm touched by every comment and kudos <3
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Mild dubcon due to arranged marriage and the wish for an heir. Nothing explicit  
> -Pregnancy  
> -Morning sickness


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, see the end of chapter notes for content.
> 
> Thanks to [reylo_garbagecan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylo_garbagecan/pseuds/reylo_garbagecan) and [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), who kindly took the time to read this over.

**REY**

The true morning sickness hits her about two weeks later, and unfortunately, it’s not just confined to the morning.

She remains in bed all day most days with some of her servants by her side to dab at her head with a damp cloth and to empty out the bucket once it’s full of sick.

Normally, she’d be expected to attend dinners, but her grandfather is so elated by her pregnancy, which is only further confirmed by her sickness, that she is excused indefinitely. He doesn’t seem too concerned about her health--or lack thereof--however, not bothering to visit her in her chambers.

Kylo does, though.

In fact, he stops by nearly every day, though she’s always quick to dismiss him, claiming that she wants to rest. She suspects he might be bothered by this, but to his credit, he doesn’t say anything.

“Any better today?” he asks hopefully one afternoon after nearly two weeks straight of sickness.

“No,” she answers miserably, as her maid comes back in the room, handing her a now-clean bucket.

Kylo frowns pensively as his eyes go from Rey to the bucket and then back to Rey. He goes to sit down in the vacant chair at her bedside, but she stops him before he has the chance.

“Actually, I was just about to try to take a nap.”

His frown deepens, but he pauses where he is. He looks like he wants to counter what she’s just said, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “I’m going to talk with the court physician and see if he can recommend anything to help you with the sickness, okay?”

The coldness she’s felt toward him for the past couple of weeks after learning of the brothels thaws a little.

“Okay,” she says, giving him a small smile. “I appreciate that.”

He nods tersely, and he remains in place for a few moments, eyes lingering on her and still looking like he’s holding his tongue. Finally, he gives her one last head nod and says, “I hope you feel better, Rey.”

***

He returns two days later with a small mug of something in his hand.

“So, the doctor was useless,” he grumbles, though his demeanor is much less concerned than it had been two days ago. “But I went into town and spoke to the apothecary. She gave me some ginger root to make into tea. I had the kitchen brew a cup for you.”

He offers the mug, which she accepts. The heat from it seeps through the mug and feels delightful against her palms. She takes a small sip and allows the warmth to trickle down her throat and into her stomach. She imagines it suffusing through her whole body, and she takes a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth.

“That’s...very nice,” she sighs.

The corners of his lips twitch upward. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” she replies, nodding. The look on his face is one of pure relief. “Thank you, Kylo.”

“It was no problem. It’s my duty after all.”

“Duty?”

He clears his throat, his eyes straying from hers to look somewhere to the side of the bed. “As your husband. I can’t just get you pregnant and then leave you to fend for yourself.”

She looks down at her mug and bites her lip. “Oh.”

He turns to leave, but she calls out his name and he pauses.

“Would you maybe want to stay for a little while?”

She motions to the cushioned green velvet chair to the side of her bed that he’d wanted to sit in the last time he’d visited. His eyes, which have gone wide, go from the chair and then back to her.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, clearly surprised. “Yes, thank you. I’d like that.”

  
  


***

The ginger root thankfully does wonders for her stomach. She still deals with the sickness more mornings than not, but it’s not nearly as debilitating as it had previously been, and for this reason, she can’t help but be grateful to Kylo.

He brings the tea to her every morning without fail. Usually, he delivers it before she’s even awake, coming into her room quietly and leaving it on the small table beside her bed for her to have when she wakes up. On most days, he’ll stop by a little while later, and if she’s feeling up to it, they’ll sit and talk for a bit before he has to leave to get on with his day of training and attending her grandfather’s surely boring meetings.

When finally a little over a month later, Rey starts feeling better, she still makes every attempt to take it easy; however, she also makes a concentrated effort to get out of her room more. Sometimes she’ll stroll through the palace gardens with Lady Rose. She also begins attending her grandfather’s dinners once more, much to her disappointment.

It’s there that she learns her grandfather is, indeed, sending soldiers to the North.

“You didn’t tell me that?” she hisses to Kylo, who is seated next to her.

She catches a glimpse of guilt on his face before he quickly schools his expression back to one of stoicism. He ducks his head down to whisper in her ear.

“He only just decided for certain yesterday. He didn’t want anyone knowing until he made the official announcement.”

She frowns. “So, you’ll be leaving too?”

He nods once. “I will.”

It’s a strange feeling. When they’d talked about it a few months ago, she’d liked the idea of getting a break from Kylo and specifically a break from having to share her bed with him. But she hasn’t done that since it’d been discovered that she was with child. Now, they’ve developed a somewhat companionable relationship, and she distinctly dislikes the idea of him leaving her alone with her grandfather for an indeterminable amount of time. And truthfully, the thought of him getting injured, or worse, killed, makes her sick to her stomach. She doesn’t want to raise their child alone. He’d promised her he’d protect their child, but that would prove to be an impossibility if he were to be felled in the North.

At the end of the dinner, Kylo offers Rey his arm so that he can escort her back to her chambers. Wordlessly, she takes his arm, and he leads the way back to the royal suites. She can feel his eyes drift to her ever so often, and she wonders if he senses her now conflicted feelings, and if he has any conflicted feelings of his own.

When they reach her door, he turns to her and, with a slightly furrowed brow, says, “We leave in three days’ time.”

“Okay.”

“I’d like for us to spend some time together before then.”

Maybe she would have noticed the unusual pink tint to his cheeks had she not been so embarrassed herself.

Sure, she and Kylo have become friendly, but she thought he’d understood that she did not want to sleep with him. She would when she needed to, and truthfully, she had found that it hadn’t been that bad as time went on, but that didn’t mean she wanted to do it recreationally. Hell, she thought he wasn’t interested in sleeping with  _ her _ outside of their duty either.

“Um, Kylo,” she stutters out, taking a minute step back from him and putting a hand on her belly, which is still completely obscured by her gowns, though Louise pointed out that it had started to stick out when her stomach was bare. “I’m sorry, but we’ve already conceived, and I don’t--”

Now, she can’t help but notice the bright red blush on his cheeks.

“Oh, Rey, no, no!” he exclaims, mortified. “I didn’t mean that. I swear, I didn’t mean that we should--”

_ “Oh!” _

She holds her hands up, pleading with him not to finish that thought.

Kylo runs a hand through his thick black hair and says, “I just meant that we should enjoy each other’s company. I could see about setting up lunch in the garden?”

“Oh,” she says again, this time in a quieter, surprised voice. “Then yes, that would be nice.”

The panic on his face melts into something softer. “Great. Is there anything specific you’d like to eat that I can tell the kitchen to prepare?”

“No. You’re the one who’ll be gone for months. You should pick.”

His lips give a little upward twitch as he nods. “Okay then. I’ll arrange for it to be the day after tomorrow.”

“Great.”

“Great,” he repeats.

Their eyes remain locked for a moment. She’s both intrigued and uncomfortable by the silence between them. She’s used to silence between them now. Even in their most intimate moments, they mostly remain silent, but this moment, somehow feels more charged than even those. She wracks her brain for something to say to fill the silence, to ease the tension, but before she can, Kylo breaks the silence for her.

“Well, I’ll see you soon then,” he says. “Good night, Rey.”

And with that, he offers her a small, crooked smile and goes in the direction of his room.

**KYLO**

Seeing Rey constantly sick makes him feel oddly helpless.

He attempts to visit her most of the days she’s incapacitated in bed, but she always dismisses him, claiming she needs her rest. Of course, he leaves at her request; the last thing he wants to do is disturb her. But at the same time, he can’t help but feel as if Rey might be avoiding him, which then leads him to wonder if perhaps she resents him for putting her in this situation. 

He dislikes the thought, but frankly, he couldn’t say he’d blame her if that were the case.

Still, the thought leaves him with a heavy guilt in his gut, so he sets out to find a way to help her.

He makes an appointment with the court physician, reasoning that meeting with the man would be the best place to start as he is a medical professional, despite the fact that Kylo views him as being an insufferable sycophant. Kylo has never had the time or patience for unnecessary flattery, but he’ll suffer through a meeting with the man in hopes that he could perhaps offer a solution to relieve Rey’s suffering.

He meets the physician for afternoon tea in his sitting room and explains Rey’s situation.

“It’s completely natural,” the physician says, waving away Kylo’s concerns with the hand not holding the teacup. “Just part of the process of growing a child within one’s womb. Nothing to worry about at all.”

“I understand that,” Kylo replies, attempting to be patient. “But isn’t there something that can be done to lessen the effects?”

The physician simply shrugs, and while Kylo has managed to reel in his inclination to respond to all vexations with aggression, he cannot help but want to ring this man’s neck.

“It’s just the way things are for women. It’s part of their lot in life. We should be grateful that it’s not ours.”

At dinner later that night, he’s still in a particularly bad mood from his conversation with the doctor. His mood is so obvious that his knight Mitaka notices and pulls him aside after dinner to question him.

“Her highness has been ill for nearly three weeks straight and appears to be in quite low spirits from it all.”

Mitaka nods sympathetically.

“I spoke with the physician today to see if something could be done, but he brushed it off, claiming it was just the natural way of things.”

“Lusica went through the same thing during the first few months of her pregnancy. It was awful. Fortunately, I was able to find an apothecary in town, who was able to suggest something. It didn’t take away the illness completely, but it managed to put a fine dent in it.”

A spark of hope runs through Kylo, and he asks for the name of the apothecary, which Mitaka gladly gives.

***

Kylo watches with a nervous eye as Rey takes her first sip of the ginger tea and then sighs.

“That’s very nice,” she comments, closing her eyes and leaning back against the pillows padding the headboard of her bed.

Relief washes over Kylo. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Thank you, Kylo,” she replies sincerely.

“It’s no problem. It’s my duty after all.”

Her eyes open and she quirks a brow. “Duty?”

“As your husband,” he explains. “I can’t just get you pregnant and then leave you to fend for yourself for nine months.”

“Oh.”

There’s a pause between them, one that’s just short of awkward where they just look at each other, not quite smiling or frowning, and Kylo decides the silence is his cue to leave.

Rocking back and forth on his heels, he says, “Well, I’ll leave you to rest.”

He turns and takes a few steps toward the door before pausing at the sound of his name being called.

“Kylo?”

He turns and looks at her expectantly.

“Would you maybe want to sit and stay for a little while?”

Pleasantly surprised, he looks over at the chair beside her bed that she is gesturing toward and then looks back at her.

“Yes,” he answers, taken aback. “Yes, I’d like that.”

She nods, offering him a small smile, as he sits.

***

“Do you really train every day?” Rey asks him one morning while he sits with her in her chambers.

She’s been feeling significantly better these past few weeks, a fact that has him immensely relieved. The morning sickness hasn’t completely gone away, and there are definitely a few days where Kylo finds himself talking to Rey one moment andthe next, watching helplessly as she vomits into a bucket held by one of her maids. Thankfully though, those days have become few and far between, and most days she feels up to visits, during which they talk in a similar manner to the way they had when they’d lain in bed together after they’d grown more comfortable with one another.

“Basically,” Kylo responds. “I can’t remember the last time I took a day off.”

“Our wedding, perhaps?”

He bites back a small smile as he watches her bring the mug of tea up to her face, closing her eyes and taking a deep inhale before sipping from it. It’s something she does before nearly every sip she takes, and Kylo can’t help but find it endearing.

“Nope. I trained for a bit that morning with Hux.”

“One of your knights?” 

She puts the mug back on the side table.

“Yes, the one with the pale face and red hair.”

It's strange to realize that Rey doesn’t know and has never formally met his knights. She’s been around them, sure, but neither he nor the Emperor has introduced her to them. The Emperor has always been so insistent that she stay out of anything related to the running of the Empire, so it shouldn’t surprise Kylo that she’s never met the men who are in charge of keeping law and order throughout the kingdom. Still, these men, as infuriating as some of them are at times, have been his companions for years now and are the closest things he’s had to friends.

Before Rey entered his life, that is.

To be honest, he’s not completely sure if he and Rey  _ are,  _ in fact, friends, but they’re certainly more than acquaintances at this point.

“Ah, yes, the one who always looks like he smelled something awful.”

Unable to help himself, Kylo snorts, causing a smile to form on Rey’s faintly flushed face.

“That’s him, alright.”

“Are the two of you close?”

“I suppose,” Kylo shrugs. “We’ve known each other for a very long time. In fact, he started training to be a knight before I did.”

“So why isn’t he the leader of the knights?”

Ben doesn’t bother with humility when he answers. “Because I’m better than him.”

Now it’s Rey’s turn to snort.

“He’s actually a father as well,” Kylo adds. “He has two little boys.”

“How lovely. Have I seen his wife?”

“Perhaps. She’s a thin woman with long black hair and dark eyes.”

Rey claps her hands together. “Yes, I think I know who you’re referring to. Does she also like she smelled something foul?”

Kylo nods, unable to stop himself from smiling. “Yes.”

“She’s always looked so intimidating at the banquets and balls. She’s so beautiful but in a really scary way.”

Kylo can’t admit to ever paying much attention to Hux’s wife Bazine. He supposes she’s objectively attractive, but she’s not really his type. Not that he really thinks he has a type. Women have always been something he’s only ever been peripherally interested in, which is why prior to Rey, he’d visit brothels when he sought their company.

Kylo shrugs. “I suppose.”

***

It’s official. The knights will be leading a small unit of infantry troops to control the possible rising insurrection occurring in the North.

If he’s being honest, he’s somewhat dreading going. He’s not  _ scared  _ to go; he suspects they’ll be able to quell any fighting with relative ease. But truthfully, he doesn’t like the idea of leaving Rey. She’s only just begun to feel better and he doesn’t want to leave her in the hands of her grandfather and an incompetent physician.

Because of this, he requests the company of Lady Rose Tico one afternoon following training.

Lady Rose, along with a dozen or so other nobles, live on the palace grounds. Since his marriage, Kylo’s noticed how Rose and Rey are friendly toward one another. He’s unsure of the extent of their closeness, but he feels as if he can trust Rose with his request.

Lady Rose meets him in the training courtyard, sitting on a concrete bench positioned on the parameter of the rectangular enclosure. Wiping his brow of sweat, Kylo walks towards her. She looks nervous and unsure as she meets his eyes, as he walks across the courtyard to greet her. In an attempt to put her more at ease, he offers her a small smile, though he can’t be sure that it doesn’t come off as something more akin to a grimace. Putting people at ease has never been his strong suit, after all.

“Your highness,” Rose greets, standing from the bench and curtseying.

It’s a weird thing, the curtseying. It’s something that has only just started happening since he married Rey, of course, and it’s  _ strange. _ He’s a warrior, not a prince.

“Lady Rose, thank you for coming. Please sit.” 

He gestures to the bench and sits down, Rose following his lead.

“Is Princess Rey okay?”

She sounds so genuinely concerned, and Kylo can’t help but feel a jolt of affection for the young woman. He knows he’s made the right decision in meeting with her today.

“She’s well, yes. I visited her this morning, and she’ll be joining us for dinner tonight.”

“That’s wonderful. It’s been nice getting to occasionally meander around the palace with her now that she’s feeling a bit better.”

“Yes,” he nods. “I know she enjoys it as well. It’s actually why I wanted to speak with you.”

“Oh?”

“Not many people know yet, including Rey. The Emperor will make a formal announcement tonight at dinner, so what I tell you must remain between us until then.”

Rose nods solemnly.

“I will be leading troops up North. There is some conflict there that the Emperor is looking to swiftly deal while it is still easily manageable. I will certainly be concerned with her health while I am away and it would be a comfort to know that she has someone who can keep an eye on her. I intend on returning long before she gives birth, but until then, I’d like to ensure that you’ll be there for her, both as a companion and as somewhat of a guardian.”

“Oh, absolutely, your highness,” Rose responds, clasping her hands together. “I’d be honored.”

“I know the two of you are already quite cordial, so I wanted to ensure that she has someone to lean on.”

“I understand. Princess Rey and I always enjoy each other’s company, so I assure you I will do everything I can to ensure she remains in good spirits while you are away.”

Kylo bows his head in gratitude. “Thank you.”

***

“We leave in three day’s time,” he tells her, as they reach her chambers after dinner that night.

She’d seemed disappointed when the Emperor had announced the troops departing for the North, though he’s unsure if she’s disappointed in him leaving or disappointed that he hadn’t told her.

“Okay,” she responds.

“I’d like for us to spend time together before then.”

His face suddenly feels warm, which is just ludicrous. He’s not embarrassed to be asking to spend time with his own wife; he supposes maybe it’s just because he doesn’t really ever  _ ask _ people to spend time with him.

Yes. That must be it.

“Um, Kylo. I’m sorry, but we’ve already conceived, and I don’t--”

Now, he  _ is _ embarrassed because she has completely misunderstood his request.

“Oh, Rey, no, no. I didn’t mean  _ that.  _ I swear, I didn’t mean that we should--”

Rey holds her hands up. “ _ Oh!” _

He sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. “I just meant that we should enjoy each other’s company. I could see about setting up lunch in the garden?”

She sounds surprised but not unwilling when she answers. “Oh. Then yes, that would be nice.”

Relief courses through him, and they make plans to have lunch together two days from now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Morning sickness  
> -Pregnancy


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a bunch to my [reylo_garbagecan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylo_garbagecan/pseuds/reylo_garbagecan) and [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), both fantastic writers who took the time to read through this chapter for me.

**REY**

With the help of Louise, she picks out a light pink dress with lace details to wear to her lunch with Kylo. She’s never cared much for fashion, but when she’d told Louise about her lunch in the garden with Kylo, a knowing smile had spread across the woman’s face and she had insisted on what she’d referred to as “the most flattering day dress in your unnecessarily modest closet.”

“If I may speak frankly, your highness, you really could do with some updates to your closet,” she says now as she helps Rey into her dress.

“It’s not as if I do much around here to warrant any new dresses,” Rey responds, sucking in so that Louise can tighten the laces of the gown.

Rey spends most of her days wandering around the palace, after all. It’s not as if her grandfather hosts that many events at the palace or as if she gets to leave the palace and wander around town. She’s not trying to impress anyone, so there’s really no need to stay up-to-date with the latest fashions.

“You’re the princess though,” Louise says, clearly disappointed with Rey’s response.

Rey does her best to shrug her ambivalence in the increasingly tight dress.

Louise sighs and says, “At least you've got this dress. You’ll surely hold the prince’s eye with this one.”

Her instinctual response is  _ Why would I want to do that? _

But those words never leave her lips...because somewhere in some deep, unexplored part of her, she thinks she likes the idea of him noticing her. It’s not about him specifically, she tells herself. It’s just about being noticed, being  _ desired.  _ She’d like to be desired by anyone, just to know that she could be.

Kylo hasn’t yet arrived by the time she gets down to the gardens. Set amongst the flowers is a table set for their lunch with a servant standing by, waiting to attend to them. As she reaches the table, the servant pulls a chair out for her. Rey quietly thanks the man and takes a moment to more carefully examine the table and all its trappings.

There’s various stacked plates of food and carafes filled with different drinks, but Rey only notices them for a second because what catches her eye instead is a white envelope with her name beautifully inscribed in blue ink.

She opens it and begins to read.

_ Rey, _

_I am regretful that it is this letter that finds you instead of me. Unfortunately, I have been called by the Emperor at the last minute to go over final strategies before we leave tomorrow. He predicts the meeting will go late into the evening; thus, I will likely be missing dinner as well._

_ I still wish for you to enjoy this beautifully put together lunch. I know you stated that I should pick the meal, but I spoke with the chefs about what some of your favorite foods were, and they have prepared them for you. _

_ Once again, Rey, I am sorry to miss our lunch. I was most sincerely looking forward to it. _

_ I will see you tomorrow before we leave, _

_ Kylo _

She folds up the letter and begins to stand from her chair.

“Your highness?” the servant asks, confused as he rushes to help her from her chair.

“I’m sorry,” she responds dully. “I’ve found I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

She’s not mad. She has no reason to be. After all, she understands that Kylo is bound by his duty as the Emperor’s most loyal knight, which, of course, takes precedence over a silly lunch.

But at the same time, she really  _ had  _ been looking forward to it.

***

Rey stands stoically beside her grandfather the next morning as they watch the knights and about fifty infantry soldiers prepare to leave for the North. Her hand rests absentmindedly on her belly, something she’s only recently been able to do due to its slowly evolving size.

“I apologize for ruining your lovely lunch with Kylo,” her grandfather says quietly, his eye not straying from the knights and soldiers in front of him.

“It was nothing,” Rey replies just as quietly.

“I must say, though, I was happy to hear that the two of you are getting on. Perhaps that means I’ll have a whole brood of great grandchildren running around the palace, which would be quite grand. I’d hate for you and Kylo to end up in the situation in which I currently find myself.”

Rey bites her tongue and nods.

Fully suited in armor, Kylo, who had previously been tying something to his horse and talking to one of his knights, turns and catches Rey’s eye. She watches as he holds up a finger to the knight before making a direct path for her.

“Rey.” He bows his head and then turns to the Emperor to add, “Your majesty.”

“I trust you will make us proud, Kylo.”

“I will, sir,” Kylo answers, nodding before shifting his attention back to Rey.

Her grandfather looks between the two of them and smiles his usual spine-chilling smile.

“I’ll let you two say your goodbyes in private,” he states before walking away.

“Rey,” Kylo repeats. “I must apologize once more for missing our lunch yesterday.”

“It’s fine,” she brushes off.

“I hope you still enjoyed the food.”

“I did,” she lies. “Thank you.”

His jaw works in that curious way of his that she’s begun to grow used to, and he looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just looks at her. For her part, Rey does nothing but stare back.

Finally, once the silence between them begins to go on for too long, he says, “Hopefully, we will return, and return victoriously, long before our child arrives.”

Rey’s other hand joins its partner on the small bump of her stomach, and Kylo’s eyes trail down to it before looking back up at hers.

“Hopefully so.”

Then to her surprise, he removes one of her hands from where it rests on her belly and gently presses his lips to the back of it. Surprising her even more, he proceeds to flip her hand over and kisses her palm before pressing it back to her belly.

It’s unexpected and feels strangely intimate for just a kiss on the hand, but the gesture definitely softens something in her, and when his eyes meet hers again, she allows her emotions to show freely on her face. Her gratitude for his kindness and generosity, her fear that something might happen to him, and even how she’ll miss him. As she looks into his caramel colored eyes, she thinks she might see some of the same emotions.

They may not ever be genuine lovers, but they’ve certainly fostered some type of intimate relationship. And for that, she’ll always be grateful.

Unfortunately, it’s then that her grandfather returns to her side, still wearing that unsettling grin.

The two men briefly review major points about the mission that have clearly been previously discussed, and then final goodbyes are said and Kylo returns to his large black horse among the knights and foot soldiers.

Rey watches with a strange tightness in her chest as Kylo leads the charge off of the palace grounds.

**KYLO**

Kylo meanders just outside the palace gates with Hux and their one female knight, Phasma, the three of them making rounds and ensuring all the soldiers are prepared to leave momentarily. Many of the foot soldiers are young--not any older than fifteen--and it’s their first time going on a campaign for the Empire.

Kylo recalls his first campaign. His sixteenth birthday had just passed and he was sent off with about three dozen soldiers to settle a small rebellion out west. He’d been terrified that he’d die, or worse, disappoint the Emperor. But thankfully, the campaign had been such a success that when they returned, the older knights had spoken so highly of Kylo to the Emperor that he had decided to expedite Kylo’s training, ensuring Kylo’s eventual promotion to the leader of the Emperor’s knights. 

Phasma snorts, breaking Kylo away from his memories.

Kylo turns to her, removing his helmet so that he can look at her directly.

“What?”

“Your  _ wife _ is staring at you with the biggest doe eyes I’ve ever seen,” the female knight replies, chuckling.

He follows Phasma’s eye line and finds Rey standing beside her grandfather, and sure enough, she’s looking at him with round eyes and an expression that’s not quite neutral.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” Kylo tells Phasma and Hux, as he makes his way over to Rey and the Emperor.

“Rey. Your majesty,” he greets, bowing his head.

“I trust you will make us proud, Kylo.”

“I will, sir,” Kylo responds, his eyes leaving the Emperor and straying to Rey.

“I’ll let you two say your goodbyes in private,” the Emperor announces before leaving.

“Rey,” he starts, once they’re alone. “I must apologize once more for missing our lunch yesterday.”

“It’s fine.”

“I hoped you still enjoyed the food.”

She smiles tightly. “I did. Thank you.”

He wishes he could get into her head and know what she’s really thinking. Even when they’re open with one another, there are these pieces of her that he wishes he could understand, pieces she seems to keep hidden. Then again, he’s the same way, always keeping his thoughts and feelings close to his chest, not letting anyone in. He supposes they’re similar in that way.

“Hopefully, we will return, and return victoriously, long before our child arrives.”

Rey rests the hand that had been hanging at her side on her stomach, where it joins its partner, and Kylo, for the first time, takes in the bump, barely visible in the lavender dress she’s wearing.

“Hopefully so.” 

He doesn’t know what drives him to do what he does next. Maybe it’s because he finds that he’s going to miss her companionship. Maybe it’s because he’s feeling guilty about leaving her and their unborn child without his protection. Maybe it’s because there’s this tiny fear that he won’t return in time for the child’s delivery. Perhaps it’s a combination of all these things. Whatever it is, it drives him to take Rey’s hand and press a kiss to it. He then turns her hand over and kisses her palm before pressing it gently to the small swell of her belly where their child grows within her.

She doesn’t respond, only stares at him, and all he can do is stare back.

Before either have the chance to say anything else, the Emperor returns and the moment between them--whatever it was--is gone.

***

When they stop their travels for the evening, they happen to stop just outside of a small town. Hux, ever the drinker, suggests the knights enjoy a pint at one of the pubs. Kylo isn’t particularly wild about the idea, but he thinks it’s smarter for him to go along than to leave them up to their own devices.

Kylo, Hux, Phasma, and two of his other knights--Ushar and Vicrul--sit around a circular wooden table in the corner of a crowded pub, quietly enjoying mugs of ale as they watch the other patrons of the pub. Kylo notices that his three males knights’ eyes are openly eyeing four young women with lustrous hair and generous bosoms who are sharing a table across the establishment.

Phasma must notice too because she chortles before elbowing Hux in the side.

“We won’t be here all night. You might as well make your move instead of just sitting here drooling.”

“I’m not  _ drooling _ ,” Hux sniffs.

“Sure, you’re not,” Phasma laughs. “That goes for you two as well.”

She says this last part to Ushar and Vicrul who, to their credit, don’t even bother looking abashed before silently nodding to one another and getting up and making their way to the women.

Phasma rolls her eyes and looks at Kylo. “Not the sharpest tools in the shed, those two.”

Kylo, not one to openly criticize his knights, simply huffs out a laugh.

“I guess I should join them,” Hux comments. “To make sure I get the one I want.”

“Delightful, Hux,” Phasma says sarcastically.

Hux apparently chooses to ignore Phasma’s comment and turns to Kylo. “Are you joining?”

Kylo shakes his head. “No.”

Hux raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Yes. Seriously,” he answers with a tone that brooks no more questions.

Once Hux is gone, Phasma turns to directly face Kylo and says, “Trying to do the honorable thing, eh?”

“The honorable thing?” he asks.

“You’ve got a wife--a pregnant one, no less--at home. You’re trying to be  _ faithful _ .”

Kylo shrugs. “I suppose so.”

“Or maybe you’re just scared the Emperor will find out you’re stepping out on his precious granddaughter.”

“He wouldn’t care,” Kylo answers, thinking back to the Emperor’s comment about the brothels. 

“So, you’re really just trying to do the ‘right thing?’”

Kylo’s eyes stray across the pub where the three knights are already cozying up to the women. Strangely, he finds he doesn’t even want to be over there with the other men. He’s content here.

“I guess I am,” he mutters, returning his attention to the tankard in front of him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! They won't be apart for long!
> 
> If you liked this, please check out my other WIP, a modern AU, [When the Rain Washes You Clean, You'll Know](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887456/chapters/65606287)
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Pregnancy  
> -Infidelity by minor character (NOT Rey or Ben)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so genuinely touched by every kudos and kind comment. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this (mostly soft) chapter!
> 
> Thanks a bunch to [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), who kindly took the time to read through this chapter for me.

**REY**

She gets word that the Emperor’s campaign has been successful and that Kylo and his knights would be returning within the month.

They’ve been gone for four months, and in that time, Rey has gotten significantly bigger. Before, she had a tiny bump that could have been explained away as an extra large meal, but what she’s got now...there’s no mistaking that for a big dinner.

She’s had to get a whole new wardrobe to accommodate her protuberant belly and newly large breasts. The ladies at court frequently tell her that she’s glowing, and her grandfather, who’s never treated her better, always happily eyes her growing belly before commenting on what a healthy baby boy she’s sure to have. Even the palace cook makes comments that the princess’s appetite seems insatiable lately and he’s sure to add an extra helping or two to Rey’s plate.

She’s  _ round  _ now. Very round indeed. And as she lies in bed, rubbing her belly the night before Kylo’s set to return home, she wonders if Kylo will be excited by how much she’s grown. She has no expectation that he will find her particularly attractive, nor does she care, but she has heard from some of the ladies of the court that many men are fascinated by their pregnant wives’ fruitful bellies. Something about a visible display of their virility, Rey recalls. Of course, it’s not like she wants or expects to be intimate with her husband upon his return. He has the brothels for that, doesn’t he? Still, she hopes he, at the very least, won’t be disgusted by her new appearance.

She hasn’t even realized she’s drifted off to sleep until she hears the faint opening of the door. Immediately, she jolts awake. Rey’s never given too much thought to someone coming to attack her, but she has given it  _ some _ thought and ultimately decided long ago that with no combat training, the candlestick at her bedside would likely be her best choice of weapon.

With her heart beating a terrifying drum in her chest, she grabs the extinguished bronze candlestick and prays for her eyes to adjust quickly to the darkness so that she can strike at her intruder before he strikes at her.

She spots a tall shadowy figure and as her brain continues to wake up, she realizes that he’s come from the door that separates her bedchamber from Kylo’s, not the door that leads into the palace halls.

“Rey?” a soft familiar voice asks. “Rey, it’s me.”

_ It’s Kylo. _

Frantically, she reaches into her bedside drawer to grab a match and light the candle. With the faint glow of the candle now illuminating the room, Rey is now able to see her husband’s face for the first time in four months.

The first thing she notices is a scar that bisects his right eyebrow and snakes all the way down his face.

“What happened?”

His brow furrows for a moment before it smooths as he seems to realize what she’s referring to. His hand gently touches his scar before taking a few steps closer to her.

“Angry countryman,” he shrugs.

“Grandfather said that there wasn’t much violence,” she says, frowning.

“There wasn’t. This actually happened in a pub.”

“Oh.”

Her heart aches a little at the disfigurement of her husband’s handsome face.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he says, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You were supposed to come back tomorrow, I thought.”

“We were. I made the men travel through the night last night so that we could make it home a day early.”

“You must be exhausted then,” she comments sympathetically.

He laughs that rare laugh of his. “I am. I was foolishly hoping you might still be awake as it’s not yet midnight, but I suppose growing a child in one’s womb is a tiring task.”

His eyes travel down to her belly, covered by her thin peach nightgown.

“I’ve gotten bigger,” she says, stating the obvious and immediately feeling foolish for it. She supposes it took them a while before they were able to converse as friends and, perhaps with four months apart, it’s going to take them a moment to warm up to each other again.

“You have,” he agrees, eyes still on her stomach, though he doesn’t betray how he actually  _ feels  _ about her new size. “Have you been well?”

“Yes. No more sickness, thankfully. Though there have been...other changes that have taken some getting used to.”

Kylo frowns as he meets her eyes again. “Such as?”

Rey’s face warms at her admission, realizing that now she has to explain these changes to him. She mistakenly thought he might just take her at her word.

“My feet have swollen,” she tells him, starting with one of the less embarrassing changes.

“I see,” he nods, still frowning.

“I also find myself having to get up to use the chamber pot many times in the same night. And...my breasts hurt. And I’ve begun to experience labor pains, though the court physician assures me that they’re not genuine labor pains, and I guess he’s right since the child hasn’t yet come.”

“Sounds like...a lot,” he says somewhat awkwardly. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that.”

“It hasn’t been that bad. It hurts no more than that mark on your face surely did.”

Not thinking, she reaches out and traces the scar with her finger. Kylo remains unmoving as she does so, not even seeming to take a breath until she removes her hand away.

The wide-eyed look on his face has her wondering if maybe her gesture was too familiar. Sure, they’ve had sex, even conceived a child together, but maybe soft touches outside of their required coupling are not supposed to be a part of what they share.

Her eyes fall to her lap where her foolish wandering hands lay. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” he says, clearing his throat. Then rising from the bed, he says, “I guess I should be going. I just wanted to check on you before I went to sleep.”

“That’s...really kind.”

He offers her a gentle smile and then walks back in the direction of his room, leaving Rey sitting up in bed, pondering the strange interaction.

***

It’s really unfortunate that as Rey continues to get bigger, the weather outside gets hotter. Whereas, earlier in her pregnancy, she had enjoyed going for walks with Lady Rose, now she mostly remains in her chambers, wearing the least restrictive clothing she has, while trying not to suffocate from that heat.

Kylo makes it a habit to visit with her almost every day, which is...a nice surprise. He spends most of the day training in the hot sun or attending meetings with her grandfather and then he checks up on her before washing off and escorting her to dinner.

He never stays for too long, and Rey cannot help but be disappointed that they seem to have regressed some since his return from the North. Each day gets the slightest bit easier though, and thankfully by mid-way through her eighth month of pregnancy, they’re nearly back to how they were just prior to his departure, talking with one another in a more comfortable manner.

On one particularly hot day, Rey refuses to even change into day clothes, instead, choosing to lie on the top of bed, wearing only her thin nightgown and dabbing her forehead with a damp wash rag. The heat is so oppressive that it lures her into a foggy sleep, and she only awakes when she hears a whispered swear.

Opening her eyes, she turns her head and sees Kylo standing a few feet away from her bed with his eyes wide and his mouth agape. For a moment while her brain is still waking up, she’s confused as to why he’s looking at her as if he can’t believe what he sees before him, but it quickly hits her; she’s lying on her back, wearing a nearly see-through nightgown.

Kylo shakes his head, as if to shake himself free from his stupor, and covers his eyes with his hand.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Rey, who’s already pulled a light sheet over her body, struggles to sit up. “It’s okay. I was just trying to stay comfortable. It’s so damn hot.” Still unable to fully sit up, she adds, “I’m covered. Would you mind helping me?”

He rushes forward in a way Rey almost finds comical and assists in her sitting up. Once she’s settled against the headboard, he takes a step back, choosing not to sit in his usual chair.

“Are you up for a visit?”

“Yes, of course. Please, sit down.”

He does, and they sit in silence for a few moments, still recovering from that somewhat awkward moment. It’s strange, though, that it should be awkward. He’s seen in her in nightgowns such as these before on the nights they’ve shared a bed, though she’s been fortunate that he’s never demanded she take the gown off nor has he taken it off without asking. And, of course, during those times it had also been dark with only a candle or two lighting the room. Currently, the sun is shining through the two large windows of her bedroom, illuminating the whole room. 

So then, maybe it’s not so strange that it’s awkward.

“So,” Rey says, searching for something to say. She clasps her hands together and plops them on her belly. “Have you given any thought as to what we might name the child?”

Kylo had been sitting very upright in his chair, and Rey suspects that he still sort of felt like he was intruding, but as her question, his posture relaxes, and he huffs out a laugh.

“Well, your grandfather wants him to be named Sheev, if it’s a boy.”

Rey scrunches up her face in disgust. Her grandfather’s name is ugly, and she has no desire to name her son after her cruel grandfather.

Kylo chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t care for it much either. But as usual, I suppose his word goes on this one.”

Rey lets out a goran.

“Perhaps we’ll have a girl,” Kylo suggests.

“He’ll be angry if we do,” she sighs, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to rest against the headboard as she lets that possibility wash over her.

Suddenly, she feels his hand take one of her own. He gives it a gentle squeeze. Bringing her head forward, her eyes meet his dark ones, brimming with earnestness.

He opens his mouth to say something, but before the words are able to come out, the child inside her belly gives a little kick, and Kylo, who’s hand is resting in hers on her swollen belly, feels it.

“Was that--”

“Yes,” she breathes, nodding.

“You’ve told me about it, but I haven’t felt--I…” he trails off, shaking his head like he can’t believe it.

She takes his other hand, now arranging both of them atop her belly in a way that maximizes his change of feeling another kick. And sure enough, no sooner are his hands settled than the baby kicks again.

Once more, Kylo laughs, and there’s a quality in it she’s never heard before. She’s heard him chuckle before and on rare occasions, she’s even heard him let out a quick bark of a laugh. But this one sounds different. It sounds unbridled and almost...joyous.

“Amazing,” he mumbles, his gaze going from her stomach to her eyes. “Absolutely amazing.”

**KYLO**

He opens the door to her chambers, hoping he’ll find her awake, only to find she’s already gone to bed. But almost immediately after opening the door, there is a commotion coming from her bed and he can see Rey’s shadowy figure chaotically moving around several feet in front of him.

Realizing that she thinks there must be an intruder--which he supposes he technically is---he freezes in place and calls out to her.

“Rey? Rey, it’s me.”

A moment later, a match is struck and a candle is lit, and he’s seeing his wife’s face for the first time in months.

Before he even has the chance to greet her, she asks, “What happened?”

_ Huh? _

_ Oh. The Scar. _

“Angry countryman,” he answers, brushing it off.

Her face twists with concern. “Grandfather said that there wasn’t much violence.”

“There wasn’t. This actually happened in a pub.”

“Oh.”

He closes the distance between them and sits on the edge of her bed. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You were supposed to come back tomorrow, I thought.”

“We were. I made the men travel through the night last night so that we could make it home earlier.”

“You must be exhausted then.”

“I am,” he replies, letting out a little laugh. “I was foolishly hoping you might still be awake as it’s not yet midnight, but I suppose growing a child in one’s womb is an exhausting task.”

His gaze then travels to her belly, and his eyes widen in surprise as he takes in her full form.

_ She’s…huge.  _

Logically, he knew it would happen. She is growing a child inside her after all. But going from seeing her as thin and athletic to round and, well,  _ matronly _ is a lot for his brain to process. She’s round and she’s round with  _ his child _ . It’s mind-bending, quite frankly.

“I’ve gotten bigger,” she says, as if she’s reading his mind.

__

“You have,” he replies. “Have you been well?”

He’s relieved to learn that she’s no longer experiencing sickness but then confused when she tells him that there are other changes she’s experiencing. Curious, he asks her to expand on that comment.

“My feet have swollen,” she answers, and he thinks he sees her cheeks pink, though he can’t be sure due to the weak light coming from the singular lit candle.

“I see.”

She hesitates for a moment and then continues, “I also find myself having to get up to use the chamber pot many times in the same night. And...my breasts hurt. And I’ve begun to experience labor pains, though the court physician assures me that they’re not genuine labor pains, and I guess he’s right since the child hasn’t yet come.”

Kylo hasn’t anticipated all of that, though admittedly he knows very little about pregnancy and childbirth.

Feeling rather dumb, he says, “Sounds like...a lot. I’m sorry you've had to go through that.”

She offers him a kind smile. “It hasn’t been that bad. It hurts no more than that mark on your face surely did.”

And then, to his shock, Rey reaches out and touches his scar, practically caresses it. His breath is stolen from his lungs and he doesn’t move a muscle as she traces her finger from his eyebrow all the way down to his neck.

When he removes her hand, both extremities and her eyes drop to her lap.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” he assures her. Then rising from the bed, he adds, “I guess I should be going. I just wanted to check on you before I went to sleep.”

He leaves her and returns to his room, too tired to give much thought to their interaction.

***

She keeps to her room most of the time due to the oppressive heat—he’s told it’s hell to be hot and pregnant—so he makes a point of visiting her in her chambers almost daily. At first, it’s like it was in the beginning of their marriage: they’re awkward around each other, mumbling and fumbling with words as they try to hold conversations. But over time, it gets easier and eventually they’re back to where they were when he’d left for the North.

Some of the knights question him for going to visit her every day.

“I just don’t understand,” Hux says one day after training when Kylo announces he’s headed up to visit Rey.

Even the Emperor doesn’t understand why he feels the need to check in on her.

“You know you’re under no obligation to entertain her,” the Emperor tells him from behind his wooden desk at one of their private meetings.

There’s a begrudging voice in the back of Kylo’s mind that suggests this is due to his upbringing. Not his adolescent upbringing, which was largely under the tutelage of the Emperor, but the upbringing of his mother--and to a much lesser extent, his father--during his formative years. Perhaps the morals and chivalry instilled in him during that time are the reason he keeps returning to Rey’s chambers every day. Rey is his wife, and she is carrying their child, and Kylo feels it’s the least he can do.

One visit, though ultimately magnificent, starts off strangely.

He enters Rey’s chambers at his usual time, which is why he forgoes knocking. Only when he enters the room and sees his wife sleeping, her practically nude body lying supine on the bed, does he realize that not knocking was a mistake.

Rey may be wearing a nightgown, but the material is gossamer to the point of being nearly see-through. Her breasts—now much bigger—are on full display as is her extremely large stomach. It’s… _ a lot  _ to take in, and he’s surprised to find his body beginning to react to the image before him in a way that he hadn’t expected.

“Shit,” he mutters.

His curse must wake her up because she opens her eyes and turns her head to him. For a brief moment, she just looks at him before their current circumstances become apparent to her and she begins pulling the light white sheet on her bed up her body to cover herself.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” he tells her as he covers his eyes with his hand.

“It’s okay. I was just trying to stay comfortable. It’s so damn hot. I’m covered. Would you mind helping me?” 

She’s trying to sit up in bed, and Kylo moves toward her to help her settle against the headboard.

He’s relieved to find that despite the first few minutes of this interaction she’s up for a visit. He’s also  _ extremely  _ relieved that his body has quickly calmed itself down, though he can’t deny still being a little tense from the whole thing.

“Have you given any thought as to what we might name the child?” Rey asks once he’s settled in his usual chair by her bed.

“Well, your grandfather wants him to be named Sheev, if it’s a boy,” he informs her, thinking back to their one-on-one meeting from a few days ago. He hadn’t told Rey about it that day, knowing it probably wouldn’t be received well by her, and sure enough, he’s right based on the disgusted face she’s making. 

“Yeah, I don’t care for it much either,” he agrees, letting out a short chuckle. “ But as usual, I suppose his word goes on this one.”

Rey groans.

“Perhaps we’ll have a girl,” he suggests.

Her face falls. “He’ll be angry if we do.”

She just looks so distressed by the whole situation, and his heart does something he wasn’t aware it could do: it breaks.

He reaches out, taking one of the hands resting on her belly, and gives it a quick, encouraging squeeze. Her eyes open and meet his.

That nagging voice in the back of his head speaks up again in that moment and compels him to tell her something he should have told her at the very beginning of their marriage. But just as he opens his mouth to speak, he feels a movement under his hand from where it rests on Rey’s belly.

He lets out a little gasp.

“Was that—”

“Yes.”

He’s heard her describe the feeling of their child kicking inside of her, but he’s never felt it with his own two hands. The reality of impending fatherhood washes over him, and he feels his head brimming with nerves and...eagerness. 

Rey takes his other hand and arranges them both on her belly so that he might feel another one of the baby’s movements, and almost instantly, he does.

Unable to help himself, he laughs. Truly laughs because what he’s experiencing right now is nothing short of a miracle.

__

“Amazing,” he mumbles, his gaze going from her stomach to her eyes. “Absolutely amazing.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang tight! The next chapter is the delivery!
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Pregnancy and bodily changes due to pregnancy


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's holidays were lovely and safe!
> 
> Here is the chapter I think you've all been waiting for.
> 
> Once again, thanks to [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), who took the time to read this over for me.
> 
> As always, see the end of the chapter for specific content.

**REY**

At first, she thinks they’re just the false labor pains she’s been experiencing for quite some time now. But they don’t go away. And then they increase in frequency. Finally, when her membranes break and she finds herself lying in a bed of her own fluid, she comes to the obvious realization.

_ Her child is coming. _

It’s late at night, surely after everyone has already turned in for bed, and it’s because of this, that she panics because she has no earthly clue what she’s supposed to do.

Shockingly, Rey has not planned for this. She was so caught up in _being_ _pregnant_ that she stupidly forgot to inquire about what to do when her body is finally ready for delivery. Perhaps someone _has_ planned for this, but if they have, they haven’t shared those plans with her.

Growing more anxious by the minute and at a complete loss of what else to do, she forces herself out of bed and walks toward the door that connects her room with Kylo’s.

The door is, much to her relief, unlocked, and when she opens it, she finds him asleep in bed, the only light in the room coming from the window where the moon is visible. She calls his name in the darkness.

He doesn’t stir.

“Kylo,” she calls out again, this time louder and so desperate that her voice nearly breaks.

Thankfully, he reacts to his name this time, shooting up in bed.

“Rey? What is it? Are you alright?” he asks into the darkness.

“The child is coming.”

He rises from the bed and, not even bothering to light a candle, makes his way toward her. Then, as if she weighs nothing at all, he scoops her up and carries her back to her room.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I--I’m not sure,” she stutters, eyes beginning to leak.

He deposits her on her bed before opening her bedside drawer and grabbing matches. He proceeds to light every candle in the room before making his way to the door that leads out to the hall.

“Kylo,” she calls out, terrified. “Don’t leave me here alone!”

“I’m not,” he promises.

He opens the door and calls for a guard down the hall.

“Send for the court physician and the midwives immediately. Her highness is in labor.”

It occurs to her then that maybe Kylo  _ had  _ been told about birthing plans.

He shuts the door once more and goes to sit beside Rey, just as another contraction wracks through her body.

“Oh,  _ gods _ ,” she groans through clenched teeth as her fingers grasp at the bedsheets.

“What is it? Is the baby coming?”

Rey turns to him, catching his eyes and sees her own fear reflected in them. He’s as pale as her bedsheets and he looks absolutely helpless as he sits there, watching her writhe in pain.

“No, not this very moment,” she huffs out. “No-- _ oh, gods, it hurts so much _ \--no, this is just a labor pain.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding more to himself than to her as if he’s trying to convince her. He then grabs her hand from its death grip on the sheets. “Squeeze my hand if you have to.”

“I’ll hurt you,” she answers, panting, though she does what he says and immediately begins crushing his hand in her grip.

“You won’t. I promise.”

They remain like that until three midwives come bustling in, two carrying what he presumes to be birthing equipment, and the third using her empty arms to shoo Kylo away.

“It’s time to leave, your highness. You’re not supposed to be in here for this.”

He looks over at Rey, silently asking her with his eyes if she wants him to stay or leave, and despite the current pain she’s in, she can’t help but muster up the smallest of smiles.

“I’m okay,” she reassures him.

She watches his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard and then lets go of her hand, but then to her surprise, he leans down, brushes a few strands of hair from her sweaty forehead, and drops a quick kiss there.

“I’ll be right outside,” he promises.

Everything that follows is a blur. Aside from the occasional words of encouragement from the midwives and a complete invasion of her personal space, Rey only remembers  _ pain.  _

At one point between her fits of screaming, she swears she hears Kylo’s voice shouting from the other side of the door to be let in.

“Do not let him in,” she thinks she recalls the physician instructing one of the midwives who has gone to the door. “It is not proper for him to see this.”

She  _ thinks  _ this actually happened, but frankly, she’s in such blinding pain at some points that it might have just been a hallucination.

Finally,  _ finally _ , the physician in an incredibly dispassionate tone, instructs Rey to push. And so she does.

She pushes like her damn life depends on it.

Suddenly, the physician is reaching between her legs and pulling out a baby.

Piercing cries take over the room, and as the burning pain begins to recede, Rey notices how the detached expression of the physician as well as the reserved smiles the midwives wear on their faces all turn into contemplative frowns.

“What is it? Is the child okay?”

After quickly cutting the cord, the physician silently hands the baby to one of the midwives and walks to the washing bin to clean his hands. The other two midwives remain by Rey, one at her side and one at the foot of the bed to deal with the afterbirth.

Rey, who’s now near hysterics, grabs at the midwife at her side and aggressively pulls the woman toward her in an act of desperation.

“What’s wrong with the child?”

The woman, clearly the youngest of the three midwives, gives Rey a sympathetic look.

“It’s a girl, your highness. Still a blessing, but not the heir we’d all hoped for.”

She can’t even process that her child is not the heir her grandfather had so desperately wanted because she is awash with relief that nothing is wrong with her, her maternal instinct flipping on like a switch.

“Can I---can I hold her?” she asks.

“Yes, your highness, of course,” responds the midwife who initially took the baby.

She brings the child to Rey, wrapped in a blanket and places her in Rey’s arms.

“The nurse maid will likely arrive tomorrow, but until then, you’ll need to feed the child yourself.”

There’s tingling, and it’s slightly uncomfortable as the babe begins to nurse from Rey’s breast, but she can’t help but look down at the child in wonder. She’s got the thinnest layer of black downy hair on her head that Rey knows she must have inherited from Kylo. Aside from that, it’s hard to find any distinguishing characteristics on the baby. That doesn’t stop her from trying though. All she can do is focus on the child against her chest, paying no mind to the scurrying around her as the midwives do their best to change the sheets as Rey still lays in bed.

“Your highness,” the physician says, starting her focus away from the newborn. “I’m going to allow his highness in now.”

The short-lived but joyous bubble she’d occupied with her child immediately pops at the mention of her husband, and it's only then that the realization that her child is a girl along with all of its implications washes over her.

Her baby has finished eating, but she still cradles her child close as if to protect her from the outside world as she watches as the physician opens the door. Kylo tries to rush past the man but is stopped. The two men have a brief conversation, the physician mostly talking and Kylo mostly nodding, before the physician motions Kylo toward the bed, where Rey awaits.

He opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it.

“A girl. I’m sorry.”

He nods, though she’s unable to read anything in his expression.

“She’s got your hair though,” Rey attempts, tears forming in her eyes. “And a good appetite.” 

“The physician said she appears to be healthy,” he says, eyes going from the baby and then back to Rey.

“She is.”

Her lip is beginning to wobble, and any minute now, the tears will fall, and Rey will surely feel like she’s let Kylo down twice in one evening, once for producing a female child and once for her weakness.

“Rey,” Kylo says softly, sitting in the bedside chair that has become his over the past nine months. “Please don’t cry.”

It’s the request not to cry that sends her over the edge, crying without reserve.

“Ladies,” Kylo says in his most imperious voice to the three midwives who have remained in the room following the physician’s departure. “Could you give the princess and I a moment alone?”

The three women nod, and one comes over to retrieve the baby. Kylo stops her.

“Leave the child.”

The woman backs away, and a moment later, they are left alone.

“I’m so sorry,” she cries, clutching the baby to her chest. “I had hoped that--”

“Rey, please,” he interrupts, his voice stern. His dark eyes are fathomless as they burn into hers. “Please do not apologize. You’ve given me--given us--a healthy child. You had no control over the child’s sex.”

“But Grandfather...he’ll be angry. I had one responsibility, and--”

“Stop it,” he interjects, interrupting her once more.

His tone isn’t harsh, but it leaves no room for argument. Rey closes her mouth and waits for her husband to continue.

“Many months ago, I told you I’d protect our child. And I meant that whole-heartedly. But what I neglected to say--what I should have  _ also  _ said--was that I’ll protect you too. I will, Rey. If I have to take the brunt of something, I will. Let me deal with the Emperor.”

“I don’t understand why you bow to him.”

“I owe him everything,” he responds, echoing an older conversation.

“I still don’t understand what that means.”

“Some things I choose to keep to myself.”

She lets out a sigh, knowing she’ll have to accept his answer. Her baby makes a snuffling sound in her arms, and her eyes drop to the small bundle.

“Rey,” she says, after a moment. “Do you understand my words? Do you believe them?”

Again, his words echo an earlier exchange.

“I do,” she whispers, meeting his eyes once more.

“Worry about taking care of our child.”

She nods, her eyes now brimming with tears for an entirely different reason.

“Worry about loving her.”

“I already do,” she tells him.

His eyes go soft and the corners of his lips curve upward ever-so-slightly. At the sight, she can’t help but smile as well.

“Would you like to hold her?”

He’s clearly taken aback by her offer as he eyes the baby warily.

“She won’t bite,” Rey gently teases. And then, perhaps because of the exhaustion of the last few hours, she adds, “Well, she will, but only if you have breasts.”

Kylo looks up at her in shock, and, despite the blush that has suddenly bloomed on her face, she giggles. This seems to only surprise Kylo further. Rey’s certain she’s never seen him so utterly out of his depth.

Her question becomes a soft demand as she offers the baby to him. “Hold her, Kylo.”

With all the gentleness in the world, Kylo carefully takes the child from her and supports her in his arms. It’s definitely not natural looking, holding the child in his arms, and she can read the awkwardness and uncertainty clearly on his face. The baby must sense it too because as he attempts to adjust his hold on her, she lets out a little whine.

She hasn’t cried much yet, only immediately following birth, and Rey would hate for some of her first cries to be in Kylo’s arms, not when he’s already so unsure of himself. For a moment, Rey holds her breath, but the child settles in his embrace once more, and she exhales in relief.

Kylo breathes a sigh of relief as well, as his eyes study his daughter.

“She looks like you,” he comments after a moment, though he doesn’t look from the child in his arms.

“You think? I could only determine that she got her hair from you.”

“She certainly did, didn’t she?” he chuckles, meeting Rey’s gaze.

This time, though, his eyes don’t bore into hers like they’re asking her to understand something. No, this time they  _ shine.  _ Shine with what exactly, she’s not sure, but it’s unlike anything she’s seen in his expression before, and it warms something in her.

Suddenly, something seems to occur to him and he frowns.

“What is it?”

“I just realized I failed to ask you how you were doing all of this.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I suppose I sort of bombarded you when you came in.”

“Perhaps a little,” he admits. ”So, are you okay? I heard you screaming from outside the door, and I asked to be let in, but they wouldn’t permit me in the room.”

“That was real then,” she mutters, more to herself than him. “Yes, yes, I’m okay. It was painful--the worst pain of my life--but I’m fine now. For the most part at least. There are certainly some aches and pains, but the worst of it is over, I think.”

He sighs in relief. “Good, I’m glad.”

The baby begins to whine, and Kylo, rightfully so, begins to grow uncomfortable once more.

“I’ll take her.”

Rey opens her arms to accept the baby. Once relieved of the child, Kylo stands and says, “I’ll call the midwives back in and let you get some rest.”

“Okay,” she replies, smiling tiredly.

Once at the door, Kylo pauses and turns to Rey one last time.

“Rey, I meant what I said. For as long as I live, you and our child will be under my protection.”

Rey nods, his words bringing her comfort. “Thank you, Kylo.”

**KYLO**

On the battlefield, Kylo Ren is fearless. He is calm, calculating, and knows exactly how to react to anything that tries to unseat him.

But in Rey’s chambers, watching her writhe in pain, Kylo is helpless. He is panicked and has no idea what he’s supposed to do. All he can think to do is run to the door and yell for a guard to send for the people who  _ will  _ know what to do.

“Oh, gods!” Rey growls as he returns to her side.

It’s the worst scream he’s heard yet.

He takes in the agonized expression on her face and how she grasps at the bedsheets, and he worriedly asks, “What is it? Is the baby coming?”

Her hazel eyes, glistening with tears, meet his.

“No, not in this moment. No--oh gods, it hurts so much--no, this is just a labor pain.”

He nods, incredibly relieved that he hopefully won’t be delivering his child all on his own.

“Okay,” he exhales.

And then, eyeing her hands’ tight grips on the sheets once more, he reaches over and relieves one of her hands from its death grip, grasping it in his own.

“Squeeze my hand if you have to,” he instructs her.

“I’ll hurt you,” she replies, through clenched teeth, though she immediately begins squeezing his hand tightly.

“You won’t,” he assures her. “I promise.”

He remains with her through a few more contractions, until three midwives come hurrying into the room.

“It’s time to leave, your highness,” one of them tells him, as she shoos him away from the bed. “You’re not supposed to be in here for this.”

Kylo glances down at Rey, trying to determine what she wants him to do, but somehow despite her pain, Rey manages a small smile and nods.

“I’m okay,” she reassures him.

It’s surprisingly difficult to let go of her hand and leave her to strangers, but he somehow manages. Then, just before he leaves, he leans down, brushes a few stray hairs from her damp forehead and places a quick kiss there.

He paces in his own chambers, attempting to listen to what’s going on on the other side of the door while occasionally sipping liquor from a crystal glass, though the liquor does nothing to calm his nerves. At some point, Rey lets out a particularly distressed scream, and on instinct, he rushes to the door and attempts to open it between their rooms, only to find that it’s locked.

“Let me in! Please!” he demands, desperation coloring his voice. He bangs his fist against the door, ignoring the pain that radiates through his knuckles.

From the other side of the door, he hears the damned physician shout, “Do not let him in!”

A softer voice, one that’s much closer to the door, says, “I’m sorry, your highness. It’s not proper for you to be here.”

He groans, and for a moment, contemplates kicking down the door, though he ultimately decides that would probably do more harm than good.

It’s strange, caring for another person this way. Caring for  _ two  _ people this way. He hadn’t anticipated it could weigh so heavily on him.

Eventually, he falls into a half sleep in his chair at his writing desk, until he is awoken by high-pitched piercing screams coming from the other room.

He jumps to his feet and the pacing starts anew as he waits to be let in.

Finally,  _ finally _ , the physician unlocks the door separating his room and from Rey’s and invites him in. Immediately, his eyes go to Rey, who is cradling a bundle in his arms, and he tries to push past the physician, who stops him with a firm hand.

“Your highness,” the physician begins. “The princess has been delivered of a healthy child.”

“Thank gods,” he breathes.

“Unfortunately,” the man adds, frowning. “The child is a girl.”

The physician’s words barely register. “But she’s healthy?”

“Appears to be.”

Kylo exhales in relief.

“And her highness is likely to be quite tired, so you shouldn’t visit for very long.”

He nods again, eyes glancing back over to Rey again before quickly returning to the doctor.

“But you may see them now,” the physician says, motioning toward Rey and the baby.

He crosses the room, looking down at Rey and their child, and he opens his mouth to speak, but she interrupts him.

“A girl,” she tells him. “I’m sorry.”

He nods, eyes on the child.

“She’s got your hair though. And a good appetite.”

The watery quality of her voice catches his attention and he looks back up at her.

“The physician said she appears to be healthy.”

“She is,” Rey answers, her face beginning to crack. She looks nearly despondent, and it breaks his heart because she’s just given birth to a healthy child. Most other mothers would be overjoyed, wouldn’t they?

He sits down at the bedside chair.

“Rey,” he says gently. “Don’t cry.”

His words have the opposite effect and she begins to cry.

“Ladies,” Kylo calls to the midwives still moving about the room. “Could you give the princess and I a moment alone?”

They nod, and when one the ladies comes over to take the baby from Rey, he stops her.

“Leave the child,” he tells the woman, his tone leaving no room for disagreement.

The midwife does and they are then left alone.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey cries, clutching their child to her chest. “I had hoped that--”

“Rey, please,” he says, interrupting her. Imploring her with his eyes, he continues. “Please do not apologize. You’ve given me--given us--a healthy child. You had no control over the child’s sex.”

“But Grandfather...he’ll be angry. I had one responsibility, and--”

“Stop it,” he tells her. His voice isn’t exactly soft, but he does his very best to keep it from sounding harsh. He just needs her to  _ listen. _

“Many months ago, I told you I’d protect our child. And I meant that whole-heartedly. But what I neglected to say--what I should have also said--was that I’ll protect you too. I will, Rey. If I have to take the brunt for something, I will. Let me deal with the Emperor.”

Her eyes from his to the baby, and in a soft tone, she says, “I don’t understand why you bow to him.”

“I owe him everything.”

“I still don’t understand what that means,” she replies, her gaze jumping back to his.

“Some things I choose to keep to myself.”

She sighs, and then the baby in her arms makes a snuffling sound in her arms, and she looks down at her. Kylo can’t help but spend a moment gazing down at the baby too. She’s a little restless in Rey’s arms, though he’s relieved she’s not crying.

Then after a moment, he calls for her attention once more. “Rey, do you understand my words? Do you believe them?”

“I do,” she murmurs, meeting his eyes once more.

“Worry about taking care of our child.”

She nods.

“Worry about loving her.”

“I already do,” she tells him, tears once more falling from her eyes. “I already love her.”

He won’t pretend to be an expert on emotions, but he understands these tears are different from the earlier ones, and he finds himself smiling the slightest smile at the scene before him. And then, to his surprise, when Rey sees that, her face breaks into a beautiful smile.

“Would you like to hold her?” she asks him.

He swallows as his eyes drop once more to the bundle in her arms. Suddenly, he’s terrified of something that can’t weigh more than seven pounds.

“She won’t bite,” Rey promises, her grin becoming a bit teasing, “Well, she will, but only if you have breasts.”

His eyes go wide at her words, and then she  _ giggles _ at his reaction.

“Hold her, Kylo.”

Nervously, and praying that his hands are steady, he carefully takes the baby from Rey’s arms and holds her against him. It’s awkward at first, as he attempts to maneuver the child in his arms, but after a few adjustments, he manages to get her in a hold that feels comfortable. But just as he does, she lets out a little cry. He tenses, praying that his child won’t cry the first time he holds her. Thankfully, she settles once more, and Kylo can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

It’s not a natural feeling, holding the child in his arms. He’s sure he looks as awkward and unsure as he feels. The baby must sense it too because as he attempts to adjust his hold on her, she lets out a little whine.

“She looks like you,” he tells Rey as he gazes down at his daughter.

“You think? I could only determine that she got her hair from you.”

“She certainly did, didn’t she?” she agrees, letting out a soft laugh.

Something then occurs to him and he wants to kick himself.

She must be able to see his frustration on his face because she asks, “What is it?”

“I just realized I failed to ask you how you were fared through all of this?”

“Oh, it’s okay. I suppose I did bombard you when you came in.”

“Perhaps a little. So, are you okay? I heard you screaming from outside the door, and I asked to be let in, but they wouldn’t let me.”

“So, that was real,” she mumbles. “Yes, yes, I’m okay. It was painful—the worst pain of my life—but I’m fine now. For the most part, at least. There are certainly still some aches and pains, but the worst of it is over.”

“Good. I’m glad,” he sighs in relief.

The baby then begins crying, and Kylo looks at Rey helplessly.

“I’ll take her,” she says, opening her arms and accepting the baby. 

“I’ll call the midwives back in and let you get some rest,” he says, standing.

“Okay.”

When he reaches the door, he pauses and turns to Rey.

“Rey, I meant what I said. For as long as I love, you and our child will be under my protection.”

“Thank you, Kylo,” she smiles softly.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Childbirth, nothing overly explicit  
> -Talk about valuing one gender over the other in historical context


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), who took the time to read this over for me. And another special thank you to LeiaMyLabrador, who made the lovely mood board below. I'm so touched!
> 
> Please see the end notes for specific content.
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/gttZjJP)  
> 

**REY**

They decide on the name Charlotte. 

Their daughter is such a well-behaved little bundle, and while Rey doesn’t have any experience at all with babies, she’s certain most aren’t as amiable as her daughter is.

Most days of the first month go exactly the same: she has breakfast in her chambers; Kylo joins her sometimes. Then she visits the nursery and spends a few hours with Charlotte. From there, she’ll return to her chambers for a nap, or if she’s feeling more active, she’ll take a walk around the gardens with Lady Rose. Then, it’s dinner with her grandfather, Kylo, and the typical courtiers, and finally, she returns to the nursery--Kylo in tow--to bid Charlotte a good night, before finally returning to bed.

Her grandfather makes his “congratulatory” visit the second morning after Charlotte’s delivery while she and Kylo are having breakfast in her room.

There is a quick, sharp knock on her door, and immediately, Rey knows it’s her grandfather. Her eyes fly to Kylo, whose expression is completely unreadable. Before Rey can say  _ come in _ , her grandfather is shuffling his way into her room with the help of his cane and flanked by two guards.

“Grandfather,” Rey greets, standing from the small table at which she’d been eating.

“Your majesty,” Kylo says, also standing and giving him a quick bow.

“Reyanna. Kylo. I understand the child was delivered two nights ago.”

Instinctively, Rey’s hand goes to her now empty womb and she nods. “Yes, sir.”

“And the child is a girl,” her grandfather states.

Anxiously, Rey bites the inside of her cheek.

Kylo nods, confirming his words.

“Rey was delivered of a healthy baby girl,” he says evenly.

Her grandfather’s mouth curves distinctly downward now into a deep frown, and his dark eyes burn.

_ He’s not just disappointed; he’s angry _ , Rey realizes in horror.

“No heir then.”

Despite his infuriated expression, his tone of voice is calm, though almost maddingly so because it doesn’t bely exactly what he’s thinking. Rey could surely guess though.

Kylo shakes his head. He puts his large, warm hand on Rey’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze, as he responds.

“No, sir. Not this time.”

“I suppose we’ll find some use for the child once she matures,” the Emperor considers. His eyes bore into Rey, as if to say that he found something useful for  _ her  _ to do. Except, she failed at it, of course. “But still. I’ll need an heir. You understand that, don’t you?”

His eyes dart between them, and though on the outside, he’s looking for confirmation, Rey knows he’s really looking to see if he’s sufficiently frightened them. She keeps her chin raised and expression even, unwilling to reveal to him what he’s searching for.

“Once Rey has healed, we will begin trying again, of course,” Kylo assures him, his voice conciliatory but strong nonetheless. His hand still rests on her shoulder, though there’s an unmistakable grip now. “You will have an heir soon, I assure you.”

“Very good,” the Emperor replies, a small grin creeping on his wrinkled face. “I trust you will keep me apprised.”

***

On another day, when Charlotte reaches a month, Rose gifts Rey with a lovely wooden baby carriage so that Charlotte can join them on their strolls. It’s the most thoughtful gift, and Rey, who's never really been one for physical affection, can’t help but hug her friend.

“It’s purely selfish,” Rose tells her, grinning. “I just want to spend time with little Charlotte and seeing as how only family is allowed in that wing of the castle, this is the way I’ve got to do it.”

From there, Charlotte joins them on their walks, which start to become an almost daily occurrence.

One day as they finish strolling the gardens, Rose suggests they continue meandering through the palace grounds.

“It’s just such a beautiful day,” she says, though Rey thinks there might be more to Rose’s suggestion than the weather.

And sure enough, as they approach the area where the knights do their outdoor training, Rey notices that Rose begins to blush and giggle.

“What is it?” Rey asks, bewildered at her friend’s unusual demeanor.

“The knight!” 

Rose points discreetly at a hand-to-hand combat happening in the middle of the combat ground. At first, Rey assumes Rose is referring to Kylo, who is fighting shirtless, his pale back glistening with sweat in the sun. It  _ is  _ a knight, Rey thinks to herself, trying not to blush, though she must confess she’s surprised Rose would be so open about ogling her husband. It only takes a moment, though, to realize that the man to whom Rose is referring is her husband’s opponent, a man she doesn’t recognize from the years of dinners, banquets, and balls she’s attended. Shorter than Kylo, the dark-skinned knight is also shirtless and very well built, she observes, as his back muscles strain against Kylo’s practiced aggression.

“Oh,” Rey says, watching the sparring match. “I’ve not seen him before.”

“He’s new,” Rose explains. “From the Northern border.”

“Where the unrest was?”

“Yes. Rumor has it that he was up there trying to keep the peace and joined forces with the knights upon their arrival. Your husband was so impressed with him that he apparently spoke of him to the Emperor upon his return, and a letter was sent out offering him a position with the knights.”

“Wow,” Rey breathes, impressed. “What’s his name.”

“Finn,” her friend answers, a dreamy quality seeping into her voice. 

Just then Kylo bests the new knight, tackling him and pinning him to the ground. A moment passes and then Kylo lifts off of him and offers him a hand, helping him up.

Kylo notices Rey, Rose, and Charlotte, tucked safely in her little buggy. He waves at them, says something to his surrounding knights, and then jogs over to them.

“This is unexpected,” he comments. He sounds surprised but not all displeased.

Rey can’t help but smirk, as she responds, “Lady Rose was in the mood for a longer stroll than usual today, and it brought us to you.”

“Is that so?” he asks, clearly oblivious to the reason as he turns to Rose. “I should extend my gratitude to you, Lady Rose. The stroller was a lovely gift.”

“You’re quite welcome, your highness,” Rose responds, bowing her head slightly in deference.

“And how is she today?” he then asks, returning his attention to Rey and then to their daughter.

“Congenial as always,” she tells him, proud of her daughter’s temperament.

She lifts Charlotte carefully out of her buggy and adjusts her white lace bonnet before rocking her gently in her arms. Charlotte coos contentedly, and all three adults smile.

Kylo reaches out and strokes his daughter’s cheek with his index finger, and she responds by slightly opening her mouth in what might the rooting reflex or perhaps just a yawn, before she closes her mouth once more, her lips perfectly pursed.

“I’d like to hold her, but as you can see, I’m not quite in the proper condition.”

He motions to his sweaty chest, and once again, Rey has to admit that he looks...well,  _ good _ . It’s not like it’s the first time she’s seen it obviously, but there’s something about seeing him like this in the daylight, gleaming with sweat after the physical exertion of sparring that strikes differently.

They chat for a little while longer. Some of the knights--including Finn, much to Rose’s excitement--approach, curious to see the little princess for the first time, but eventually Kylo shifts back into knight-mode and announces they must get back to training.

As they turn back and continue on their walk, Rose comments, “Your husband seems...different.”

“Does he?”

“Yes. We seldom interact, but he seems, I’m not sure, softer, perhaps? At the very least, not as stern.”

Rey smiles thoughtfully. “Truly, he’s not. And he’s surprisingly good with Charlotte.”

“Perhaps we could stop by their training more often then? So that he can see the little princess?”

“And so that you can see a certain knight?” Rey giggles.

Once more, Rose’s cheeks go pink. “Perhaps.”

***

“Between the two of us, Lady Rose has shown in interest in one of your knights,” Rey reveals to Kylo in a soft voice later than night as they sit in the dimly lit nursery, little Charlotte sleeping peacefully in Rey’s arms.

The nursery has, perhaps, become Rey’s favorite place in the castle. Not only is it where her daughter resides, but it’s also got such a serene, relaxing atmosphere. Whereas the rest of the castle is dark coors and sharp architecture and furniture, the nursery is all warm colors and softness. It’s the perfect place for a baby to be, and Rey wonders if the designer of the nursery could possibly make some adjustments to her room as well. Unlike the nursery, which instantly felt like home, Rey’s chambers have never felt like that, even after all these years.

Kylo’s eyebrow quirks upward at her statement.

“An interest?”

“Yes. That’s why we made it a point to come by your training session today. She wanted to see him and to point him out to me.”

“And who would that knight be?”

“Your new one. Finn?”

Kylo nods thoughtfully. “They’d be a good match, I think. He’s a fierce fighter, but outside of a battle or sparring match, he’s got an excellent temperament. Shall I put in a good word for Lady Rose then?”

“I think so, yes,” Rey replies. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. I don’t know the man well, but I suspect he’d make an excellent partner. Much better than Hux anyway. Or the one to whom you’ve been saddled.”

His expression is self-deprecating, but she can’t help but detect the slightest bit of guilt in his voice.

Attempting to lighten the mood, she nudges his side, careful not to disturb the sleeping child in his arms, and says, “I don’t know. You’re not  _ nearly  _ as awful as I expected. Or perhaps you’ve just grown on me.”

He very nearly smiles at then, and then, as if he wishes to change the subject, he asks if he can hold their daughter.

“Of course,” she replies, handing him Charlotte.

Later, as they’re walking back to their respective chambers, he speaks in a quiet voice. “I understand that we are under an obligation to have more children, just as I understand your misgivings. And once the Emperor is satisfied with an heir, I have no intention of forcing more children on you. But I must admit, I enjoy Charlotte’s presence much more than I ever expected to.”

For a reason she can’t quite place, she doesn’t respond to his statement, choosing instead to simply nod her head thoughtfully, but under the surface, she finds herself whole-heartedly agreeing. If circumstances were different, if her children could truly be her own, she could imagine herself as a mother to a small handful of children; however, given the current circumstances, her thoughts on bringing more children into this world are complex, though they are slightly different to what they were prior to birthing Charlotte.

Over these past few weeks, Rey has absolutely treasured being a mother. It’s a humbling responsibility and one she never would have imagined herself enjoying as much as she has, and she’s certain she’ll feel the same way when she inevitably has more children to love and care for. But at the same time, the idea of having more children for the Emperor to use and manipulate to his whims breaks her heart.

Kylo must be able to tell that unready to give a response, so he doesn’t force her to stay anything. Instead, they keep walking, both of them deep in thought.

**KYLO**

Being a father is different than Kylo expected.

Different, but also better.

Kylo starts his mornings in the nursery with his daughter. She’s usually just finished her early morning feeding with her wet nurse, and he’s given the opportunity to hold her and rock her before she inevitably needs to be changed, at which point he hands her back to her nurse. (He suspects, based on the nurses’ expressions every time he enters the room, that it’s out of the ordinary for him to be in the nursery without Rey, but he pays it no mind). From there, he often takes breakfast with Rey in his chambers or hers, before going about his day, training and in meetings with the Emperor. In the evenings, he has dinner with Rey, the Emperor, and whatever courtiers the Emperor is entertaining that night. After that, he returns to the nursery with Rey to see their daughter one last time before bed.

He never would have imagined  _ craving _ time with his child, but there’s something about holding her in his arms that gives him a high. It’s not the same high he experiences when he’s in the middle of the battle, where he feels purposeful, wielding his sword and killing anyone who gets in his way. No, it’s a different high, though he feels no less purposeful. Not long after his marriage to Rey, he’d promised her he’d protect their child. And, of course, at this time he’d meant it. But at the time, their child hadn’t been a reality. Now though, she’s here and she’s real, and he believes his sole purpose in life might be to protect her.

Her  _ and  _ Rey.

Rey, who has been outstanding as she adjusts to her role as a mother. She’s a natural with their daughter, and while becoming a husband and a father was never part of his plan, he’s glad Rey is his partner in this. They’ve gone from strangers to acquaintances to friends, something for which he’s grateful. She’s warm and so loving with their daughter, and Kylo is certain it affects her interactions with him as well. And while things between them hadn’t really been bad in a while, now he’d go as far as to say they’re really good. The only time she’s ever uptight is when the Emperor wants to talk about Charlotte. Occasionally at dinner he’ll brainstorm various neighboring kingdoms to whom he could possibly marry her off, while also never failing to lament at how so many kingdoms have transformed into democracies over the recent years.

“She’s not even two months old,” Rey whispers one night as she holds Charlotte in her arms. “This cannot be something he’s actually thinking about.”

Kylo sighs. He likes the idea no more than she does.

“It’ll only be a true possibility if he strikes a betrothal agreement before his death,” he says in an equally quiet voice. It’s only the two of them plus baby Charlotte in the nursery, but as Rey had once told him, the Emperor has eyes and ears everywhere. “If I am regent or if her brother has taken up rule by that point and no deal has been put in place, neither he nor I will force her into any marriage she doesn’t wish for herself. And if a deal has already been struck, I will do my damndest to undo it.”

Her face softens at his words and she touches his forearm. “Thank you.”

He’s glad he doesn’t have to convince her this time. It’s clear based on her expression that she accepts and believes his promise.

***

He’s practicing hand-to-hand combat with the new knight, Finn, whom he’s just pinned to the ground, when Mitaka calls out, “Hey, Kylo, the princess...and, uh, the little princess are headed this way.”

His eyes break away from Finn to where Mitaka is pointing, and sure enough, Rey is approaching with Charlotte and Lady Rose.

_ This is new _ , he thinks.

He waves at Rey and is about to make his way over for a quick visit when Hux snorts, “Didn’t realize it was family day. I would have invited Baz and the boys had I known.”

“Shut up, Hux,” Kylo mutters, knowing full well that his fellow knight would absolutely  _ not  _ bring his wife and sons around. Then to the rest of his knights, he adds, “Take five minutes.”

“This is unexpected,” he says when he reaches them.

“Lady Rose fancied a longer stroll than usual today,” Rey explains, as she looks at her friend. Something passes between the women, but whatever it is, Kylo is completely oblivious to it.

_ Female stuff _ , he figures.

“Is that so?” He then turns to Lady Rose. “I should thank you, by the way. The stroller was a lovely gift.”

“You’re quite welcome, your highness,” Lady Rose replies, ducking her head into a quick bow.

A soft noise comes from inside the stroller, and Kylo’s attention shifts to the bundle within it.

“And how is she today?” he asks, eyes going from his daughter to Rey back to this daughter again.

“Congenial as always.”

Rey lifts little Charlotte out of her buggy and adjusts her bonnet, a gift from Mitaka and his wife, so that Kylo can more clearly see her face and begins rocking her in her arms. Charlotte makes the most precious sound.

Kylo can’t help but smile at the sound and is compelled to reach out and run a finger down her soft little cheek. In response, she opens her mouth, nearly yawning, and then closes it again.

He wants to reach out and hold her, but he’s been sweating from the exertion and the sun for the past three hours and is surely in no condition to hold their sweet, clean daughter. He tells Rey as much.

She nods in understanding, and they talk for a few minutes more. A few of his knights, mostly those with children, come over to see the baby, and he’s filled with pride at how his daughter charms even the mightiest of men with every little wiggle of her hand, or purse of her lips, or cooing sound.

Eventually though, way more than five minutes have passed, and he has to call the training back to order.

“Alright men, let’s get back to training!” Then to Rey and Rose, he says, “Thank you for stopping by. This was a nice surprise."

"See you at dinner tonight," Rey says, as they depart.

***

As he does nearly every morning, he stops by the nursery. The nurse hands Charlotte to him, and he carefully walks with her to a corner of the room and sits down.

“Good morning,” he whispers.

Of course, his baby daughter does not respond back, but she does sort of lift her tiny arm, which he fully intends to accept as a response.

For the most part, her eyes remain shut, but occasionally they’ll peak open in a drowsy way, and when they do, he savors the moments he gets to look in her eyes.

As it does quite often during these quiet mornings he spends alone with his daughter, his mind drifts to his own father. Had he ever felt the way about Kylo that Kylo feels about Charlotte? Kylo never expected to feel the way he feels about his daughter, but as each day goes by, he comes more and more convinced that he  _ is  _ capable of love. Because what he feels for Charlotte has to be love, doesn’t it? Did Han ever love Kylo like that? With that fierce, unconditional zeal that would lead Kylo to do anything for his daughter? Would Han have done anything for Kylo? He somehow doubts it. Not when Han took every chance he got to leave.

He’s interrupted from his thoughts by the nursery door quietly opening. To his surprise, he sees Rey walk in, wrapped in her floor length pink silk robe with a loose braid over one shoulder. 

Her tired eyes go big with surprise.

“Good morning,” he greets softly.

“Morning. This is a surprise.”

She sits in the chair beside him, adjusting her robe to better cover herself in her new position.

“It’s actually a surprise for me,” he tells her. “I come here every morning.”

When he glances up at her, she’s clearly taken aback.”

“Every morning?”

“Nearly. I come just after her early morning feeding.”

“What do you do?”

His eyes take in the sleeping baby in his arms, as he answers, “Just this. Just like we do in the evenings.”

Her lips curve upward. “That’s lovely, Kylo.”

“When it’s quiet like this, it gives me time to reflect,” he admits. “And I like being with her when I do it.”

Charlotte begins whimpering in his arms, so he carefully lifts her little body so that she’s resting against his shoulder. He gently taps her back, not really with the intention of burping her but just to reassure her with a delicate  _ pat pat pat.  _ As he does so, a few strands of hair fall in his face. Before he can brush them away with his free hand, Rey reaches up and tucks them out of the way.

His eyes meet hers, and he thinks he sees a splash of surprise in them, as if the act surprised  _ her  _ despite her being the one to perform it.

“Thank you,” he murmurs softly.

His answer is just as soft. “You’re welcome.”

When Charlotte eventually quiets down, he brings her back in a cradling position and turns to Rey.

“Would you like a turn with her?”

She seems to consider it for a moment, before shaking her head. “No, you hold her.” And then with a little teasing glimmer in her eye, she adds, “I think she likes you.”

“I hope she does. I hope she  _ will _ ,” he replies, almost to himself.

“I’m sure she already does.”

Rey says it with such confidence and he wants nothing more than to believe her.

“Why have you come here so early, anyway?” he asks after a few moments of silence between them. “You aren’t usually here at this time of morning.”

“Dreams,” she answers. “Bad dreams.”

He turns to her, raising an eyebrow. “Nightmares.”

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“Since she was born.”

“I’m sorry.”

She waves him off. “Don’t be. I’ve always been an active dreamer. Not just nightmares either. But the nightmares have gotten worse since she’s been born. I just...worry for her.”

“I know you do. But you shouldn’t. I told you I’d protect you and Charlotte. And I meant that.”

She swallows and replying in a whisper, she says, “But what if something happens to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if you...die? What if you go to battle and don’t come back?”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t know that though,” she responds. Her voice sounds fearful.

“I’ve never been bested.”

She sighs, and he can tell she’s still not satisfied with his response.

He opens his mouth, about to make an attempt to reassure her once more, when one of the palace guards quietly knocks on the door before letting himself in.

“Good morning, your highnesses. The Emperor would like to see you in his chambers for breakfast.”

Kylo looks at Rey, finding her pale.

The last time he had them together for a joint meeting was the day he announced they’d be marrying each other. He can understand Rey’s apprehension at attending another meeting now.

He lays Charlotte back down in her crib, and then, still seeing that Rey looks terrified, takes her hand, gives it a little squeeze, and leads her out of the room.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a bit of a cliffhanger, but hopefully this next chapter will be out by the first week of February! We're also inching closer to a thickening plot, so prepare yourselves!
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Discussions of somewhat forced pregnancy. (The Emperor forcing Rey and Kylo to have more children)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very special thanks to [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), who read over this for me. And another special thank you to LeiaMyLabrador, who made the killer mood board below.
> 
> Please see the end notes for specific content.
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/gttZjJP)   
> 

**REY**

Rey and Kylo sit at a table in her grandfather’s sitting room, watching as he spreads jam on a biscuit. They’d each been given plates as well, and while Kylo makes an effort to pick at his, Rey is so anxious to find out why they’ve been summoned here by her grandfather that she’s lost any appetite she may have had.

Under the table, Kylo’s hand rests gently on Rey’s though, a reminder, she suspects, that he’s on her side and of his promise to protect her and Charlotte from harm.

“As you both know, next week is the annual celebration in honor of my birthday. The court will throw its annual banquet that evening. In addition, there will be the traditional parade with the carriage procession during the day.”

Her grandfather pops the biscuit in his mouth, chews thoroughly, and swallows before continuing, “Normally, Reyanna would ride with me. However, I think it would be good for the royal family’s image if you, Kylo, rode with Reyanna in a separate carriage. The people have never seen the two of you-- _ the royal couple-- _ together in public outside of the palace walls.”

Rey has always hated the yearly carriage ride throughout the capital city. Her grandfather would always sit stoically beside her, offering his subjects the bare minimum of his attention while secretly scowling under his breath at how pathetic they all looked, making fools of themselves as they pushed on another to see the royal family and wave ecstatically with ridiculous grins on their faces.

“These people have next to no dignity. It’s shameful, really,” he’d mutter.

Compared to  _ that _ , riding in a separate carriage with Kylo seems like a great alternative.

“I think that sounds lovely,” Rey comments demurely.

“It would be an honor to be a part of the procession, sir. Of course, I’m used to riding on horseback for the parade, but--”

“But you’re part of the family now,” the Emperor says languidly, as he spreads more jam on a second biscuit. “Which reminds me…”

This time when he eats the biscuit, he spends his time chewing, leaving Rey and Kylo in suspense. Neither talk while they wait for him to say his next thought. Finally, he swallows the pastry and fixes them with a terrifying stare.

“I had a meeting with the court physician yesterday.”

Rey tenses as she feels Kylo’s hand out curl into a slight grip on her thigh.

“Are you okay, sir?”

“I am perfectly fine, though I appreciate the concern,” her grandfather replies, a sly grin on his face.

“That’s good news,” Rey replies, her voice not nearly as strong as her grandfather’s or Kylo’s.

He nods before forking some bits of egg from his plate. Thankfully though, this time he talks as he does so.

“No, I had a meeting with him because I was curious as to when the two of you could once again start trying for an heir.”

Rey’s stomach sinks at his words.

She should have suspected this, but she’s been so distracted with Charlotte that it’s completely blindsided her.

“He says the two of you should be okay to resume your coupling by the end of next week, which perfectly coincides with my birthday. And what better birthday present than to know my only descendent and my best knight are hard at work, doing their duty and ensuring the royal line continues.”

Kylo turns to her, his expression emotionless but his grip on her near painful now. He obviously wants this as little as she does, but because they’ve got to keep up appearances, he gives her a resolute nod.

“Of course, sir,” he replies, speaking for both of them.

***

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he tells her later that night when they return to the nursery to say goodnight to Charlotte.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” she asks, choosing to look at the small sleeping child in her arms instead of at him.

He doesn’t immediately respond. Instead, he paces in slow, small circles around the nursery.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she assures him. “You have no more control over this than I do.”

“I just want to be able to protect you. This should be part of that.”

She shakes her head and lets out a soft sigh. “There’s no getting out of this part of it, Kylo. I’ve already accepted that.”

He stops pacing and comes to her, sitting beside her a little closer than he usually does. She looks up at him, but his eyes fall on little Charlotte, who looks less like just a baby and more like both of them every day. Her eyes drop to their daughter again

They stay like that for a long while, both silent and gazing down at their sleeping child.

When Kylo speaks again, his words surprise her.

“My father wasn’t around as much as he should have been. He was always out on these grand adventures with his buddies, sometimes searching for priceless treasures, sometimes just on smuggling runs. He did a little bit of everything, but he was never a father the way he should have been.”

“I see,” Rey responds, though she doesn’t. She doesn’t have a clue as to where he’s going with this. He’s never talked about his childhood before.

“The thing is--because he wasn’t around, my mom...she took on a...hobby, shall we say. I didn’t know it at the time, but she had been secretly organizing meetings for years, trying to rally support for democracy all the while attending parties here and putting on the facade of being part of the nobility.”

“Your parents were nobility?”

“My mom was. Her father--my grandfather--was your grandfather’s best knight. When the Emperor conquered this land, my grandfather was right by his side. He died before I was born, but his children--my mom and my uncle--still enjoyed very comfortable positions in society.”

“Is that how you met my grandfather? Through your family?”

“Yes. I attended many events at the palace with my family. For some reason or another, the Emperor took an interest in me. He wanted to train me to be a knight like my grandfather. Of course, my mom wouldn’t allow it. I had no idea she was committing treason by actively working against him. Meanwhile, I started sneaking out for visits and training at the palace. One evening, my mom was holding one of her meetings at our villa. I wasn’t there at the time; I was here, actually. But during her meeting, there was an attack and the villa burned to the ground.”

Rey suddenly feels sick, wondering if her grandfather was responsible for Kylo’s mother’s death.

As if he can read her mind, he says, “It wasn’t the Emperor. It was another nobleman who caught wind of what she was doing. The Emperor told me later that when he discovered what my mom was doing, he had hoped to meet with her civilly and try to find compromise, but this other nobleman who was close to your grandfather-- _ Snoke _ \--was a fanatic and killed her before the Emperor had a chance.”

Rey sucks in a sharp breath.

“The only consolation is that he died in the fire as well.”

“And your father? Was he there during the fire?”

Kylo snorts derisively. “No. He was away. But I never saw him after the fire. He never came home. So either he died somewhere else or...he’s a coward.”

“I’m so sorry, Kylo.”

He looks up at her, his eyes fierce with sincerity.

“I’m saying all of this because--my father wasn’t around enough, and I’ve always wondered--maybe even believed--if he had been, then maybe things would have been different. Maybe my mother wouldn’t have felt the need to fill his absence by taking up a ridiculous cause the way she did. Maybe she still would have, but maybe he would have been able to save her. I’ll never know for sure, I suppose.” He shrugs in frustration and shakes his head. “But I want you to understand that when I say I’ll protect you both, I mean it. It  _ means  _ something to me to be a father--and a husband--who can provide protection for his family.”

Rey drops her eyes from Kylo’s as tears begin to sting her eyes. They’ve had similar conversations before, but she’s never heard him speak quite as openly and as honestly as he is now.

“So, when I tell you I’m sorry I can’t protect you in this particular way, I want you to know that I mean it. I mean it, and it upsets me.”

“Kylo,” she whispers, her wet eyes snapping back up to his. “You have been there for me more than anyone in my life ever has.  _ I  _ want  _ you  _ to know that.”

He says nothing, only nodding at Charlotte, silently asking if he can hold her. She offers the child to him. He takes her and lowers his head so that he can press a kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“Thank you, Rey,” he says softly as he draws back.

With her hands now free, she puts one on his shoulder and squeezes slightly.

“You’re welcome, Kylo.”

Something in his expression changes--an almost imperceptible lip curl downward or a barely-there sad glean in his caramel-colored eyes, something Rey can’t quite articulate--and he looks like he wants to say something, but whatever it is, he holds his tongue.

**KYLO**

He struggles to sleep that night, his mind replaying his earlier interaction with Rey in Charlotte’s nursery.

_ Ben,  _ he found himself wanting to say when she’d thanked him.  _ My name is Ben. _

He hadn’t gone by that name since the fire, having adopted a new name at the behest of the Emperor after it came out his mother was leading a resistance against the Empire. The Emperor wished for Kylo to rid himself of any connections to the Skywalker-Solos, and Kylo, ashamed to have learned of his mother’s politics, was all too happy to oblige.

But with Rey earlier that night, he had wanted to hear his real name from her lips because with her, he felt like  _ Ben  _ again. With Rey, his identity is more than just a loyal knight to the Emperor.  _ Ben _ , unlike Kylo, is part of a family.

With Rey, everything feels different.

***

His entire body is soaked with sweat by the time training is over. He’d gone one-on-one with each of his knights, besting each of them in sword fighting, though the new knight Finn, the last knight to fight him, definitely gives him a run for his money.

Wiping his brow with the shirt he’d removed earlier, he says, “Good work today, men and Phasma.” Hux snorts and Phasma gives him the finger. “One last thing before we call it for the day. His Majesty’s birthday is next week, and as happens every year, we are to lead the annual procession through town on our horses. I have spoken to the Emperor, and he has requested that I ride with the princess this year in the carriage.”

Vicrul laughs and elbows Ushar, who stands beside him. “Getting a little big for your britches, aren’t you,  _ your highness.” _

“I’m sure the Emperor would not be pleased to hear you mocking his beloved granddaughter’s husband,” Kylo chastises. 

Looking properly reprimanded, Vicrul mumbles an apology, and Kylo resumes.

“Because of that, Hux will take my place leading the procession in place.” Hux is clearly pleased with this development and looks like he wants to start bragging, so Kylo quickly continues. “Additionally, the annual banquet will be held that evening. Naturally, you are all invited and encouraged to attend with your wives or partners. Any questions?”

There are none, so Kylo dismisses them but requests for Finn to stand by. The new knight looks apprehensive, Kylo observes, as he pulls his soaked shirt over his head, and Kylo suspects Finn thinks he might be in for a reprimand of some sort just like Vicrul.

“Your highness?” Finn asks, without any of Vicrul’s sarcasm.

“Call me, Kylo,” he tells him, as the two men slowly begin the path back to the showers located in the repurposed barn nearby. “I just wanted to talk to you about the banquet.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Am I correct in believing that you will be attending?”

Finn’s sweaty brow furrows. “Oh, I suppose I will.”

“Will you be taking someone?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know too many ladies.”

“May I suggest Lady Rose then?”

“Lady Rose?” Finn asks, eyebrows raised. “Why do you suggest that?”

“She’s a good friend of the princess. I’ve had the chance to speak with her myself on several occasions, and I can confirm that she’s a lovely and eligible lady.”

“We’ve spoken a few times, and I do agree, she is lovely. I just couldn’t imagine that a lady such as herself would be interested in a lowly soldier with no money and no name.”

“You’re a knight now, Finn,” Kylo reminds him. “Not just a soldier. And I can attest that Lady Rose cares not for such things anyway.”

Finn hums, considering. They enter the barn and begin to strip. A few of the other knights are in the stables, scrubbing off already, but there are two more beside each other that are open.

Entering the stall, Kylo prods. “So, what do you say, Finn? Will you ask her?”

From the other stall, he can only see Finn from the neck up, but he’s pleased to see the man nod his head up and down thoughtfully.

“I think I might. Thanks for the head’s up.”

***

“She’s crying again?” Rey asks the nurse as she and Kylo enter the nursery after dinner.

The nurse, a slightly overweight woman a few years older than Kylo, sighs and nods her head in the affirmative.

“Nearly three days straight now, Princess. I suspect it’s colic.”

“Colic?” Kylo asks, concerned that anything at all could be wrong with his daughter.

“It’s happened to a handful of the babes I’ve cared for over the years,” the nurse informs him. “Though if it is colic, the little princess is developing it a little late.”

“But  _ what  _ is it?” he asks, as Rey goes to take their shrieking daughter from the nurse.

“We’re not quite sure, your highness. In my experience, it’s a vague sickness that is best treated by trying to keep the baby comfortable.”

“So, she’s going to just keep crying like this?”

“Well, I’ll do my best to soothe her, of course.”

“No,” Rey says from where she sits in the corner with Charlotte in her arms. “No. Tell me what to do, and I’ll care for her. You’ve been at it for three days.”

“Rey,” Kylo says, approaching her and kneeling down to be at her eye level. In what he hopes is a calming gesture, he places his hand on her knee. “The nurse knows what she’s doing. She is skilled at this. Let her do her job.”

“I’m her  _ mother _ ,” Rey responds fiercely. “It’s not my breast she feeds from. It’s not me who cleans her when she’s dirty. It’s not me who’s there to comfort her when she cries in the middle of the night. I want to be the one to care for her now when she’s sick.”

There’s a blazing fire in her eyes, brighter than the hearth burning in the room. He’s not sure he’s ever met someone who's been this passionate about something that wasn’t war or power or glory, and he’s absolutely captivated by her strength and determination. 

Kylo stands and once more turns to the nurse. “In that case, please inform us of how to care for Princes Charlotte, and then you are dismissed for the evening.”

“You’re--you’re staying?” Rey asks, shock coloring her voice.

He meets her eyes once more. “Yes.”

Her responding grin is luminous.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is definitely turning out to be the most complicated I've ever written. Groundwork is being laid, and it's intimidating the hell out of me lol, but I hope you continue to stick with me!
> 
> Hoping and praying that I'll have the next chapter out within two weeks. It's written; I just need to edit it!
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> -Discussions of somewhat forced pregnancy. (The Emperor forcing Rey and Kylo to have more children)  
> -Sick infant


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [elemie89/em_is_writing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89), for reading this chapter over for me. And another special thank you to LeiaMyLabrador, who made the killer mood board below.
> 
> Please see the end notes for specific content.
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/gttZjJP)   
> 

**REY**

To Rey’s knowledge, fathers don't do this. More so, wealthy, noble, and royal fathers  _ especially  _ don’t do this. Men have always left all forms of child care to women.

But for whatever reason, Kylo is volunteering to help her, and Rey feels immense relief that she won’t have to do this alone. 

Throughout the entire night, he’s either actively taking care of Charlotte or hovering over Rey as she cares for her. It should be annoying, having him practically breathing down her neck, but it’s actually not; it’s comforting. She feels safe and supported with him watching over her, and she marvels over how he doesn’t so much as  _ yawn _ , let alone appear tired.

At some point, after midnight but well before sunrise, Rey feels herself lagging. Her arms are tired, her back is tired, and her  _ mind  _ is tired. They’ve taken turns rocking Charlotte in their arms, giving her warm sponge baths, and even little massages. It’s Kylo’s turn to rock her, and as they sit together on the small couch in the corner of the nursery, Rey, without thinking, rests her head on Kylo’s shoulder.

It’s only so that she can rest and relax her body, while still keeping an eye on Charlotte, but pretty soon, the moment of relaxation gives way to sleepiness that she’s unable to ignore, and her eyes drift shut.

She falls asleep quickly, and she dreams.

She dreams that she, Kylo, and Charlotte live back in Jakku, the wasteland province where she grew up. They’re a family, just as they are now, but here, they live simple lives in a small cottage. Together, she and Kylo run a small farm with a handful of animals. And because it’s a dream, they’re able to make a modest living despite the barren land. In the dream, there are flashes of Kylo playfully chasing Charlotte around the farm, smiling and laughing more freely than she’s ever seen him. Rey watches on, fondness tinting her expression, as she gratefully reflects on Charlotte being able to grow up without the fear of being married off to a prince from a foreign land. And when Rey and Kylo decide to try for another child, they make love without any shadows in the background reminding them of the importance of a male heir.

Her dream is an alternative timeline of her present life, one where almost everything is different. Everything but the presence of Charlotte and Kylo--the man she had no choice in marrying but who is still her husband in this dreamy fantasy, something her unconscious mind doesn’t seem to have any problem accepting.

She’s suddenly jolted from the dream by Charlotte’s hysterical cries. She jerks up and off of Kylo’s shoulder as he begins to quietly shush the screaming bundle in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he says, grimacing as he stands with Charlotte and continues to soothe her.

“No, no, it’s okay. I should be the one apologizing. I fell asleep on you--literally--and left you on your own to deal with this.”

The corners of his lips twitch for just a moment before Charlotte lets out a particularly distressed cry.

“It’s okay. She was quieting down until a second ago,” he tells her. Then to Charlotte, who remains fussy, he adds, “Shh, little girl. It’s okay. It’s alright.”

“I can hold her for a little while, if you want a break?”

“Only if you want to-- _ shh, sweet girl _ \--I don’t mind.”

She thinks back to the first night she cried in front of Kylo and how he promised to protect Charlotte. He’d said he wasn’t sure he knew how to love. But watching him with Charlotte, it’s never been clearer to Rey that he does.

Smiling warmly at the thought, she says, “You’ve been up all night. Are you sure you don’t want to sneak a nap?”

“I’m used to being up all night.”

She rises to join him in the pacing across the room. “Really?”

“Sometimes you have to keep guard at night when you’re off at battle. Other times when you’re fortunate enough to rest in your tent, it’s difficult to sleep, either due to adrenaline or nerves.”

“I see.”

She lifts a hand and runs it soothingly across Charlotte’s small head, covered in thin hair so similar in color to Kylo’s. Rey’s eyes meet his and something she could only describe as affection crosses his face. He pulls Charlotte from his chest and offers her to Rey.

“Here, I’ll stay up with you if you want to rock her for a bit.”

She takes Charlotte from him and presses the child to bosom, smiling up at Kylo and trying to convey her own affection.

***

  
  


A few days later, on a clear autumn day, Rey and Rose are strolling through the castle grounds. Though thankfully, Charlotte had seemed to be getting better since the night she and Kylo had stayed up with her, the poor child still has her moments of restlessness and agitation, so Rey had decided to leave her in the nursery instead of bringing her along for their usual walks.

With the season changing, the flowers have slowly begun to lose some of their beauty, but the giant trees that cover the grounds have grown gorgeous as their leaves turn red and orange and collect in piles on the ground. In fact, it was the red and orange hues of the leaves that inspired the ballgown Rey plans to wear next week.

“It’s a gown I’ve worn once before, though the seamstress is making a few adjustments as it surely won’t fit the same now that I’ve had Charlotte,” Rey explains to Rose.

“I’m sure it will be stunning,” Rose replies, smiling. Rey’s noticed Rose has been smiling almost nonstop since they began their walk today. “I’m also using a dress I’ve previously worn, but I’m having some modern touches added to it. It’s the most beautiful shade of light blue.”

She sighs in an almost dreamy way, and Rey can’t help but chuckle.

Carefully avoiding her friend’s gaze so as to seem casual and not too nosy, Rey says, “You seem really excited.”

Rose giggles in the most delightful way. “I am! Finn asked to escort me to the banquet!”

Rey allows herself to look up at her friend and smile. “He did? Oh, Rose, that’s wonderful!”

Rose’s grin is as bright as the sun shining above them. “He found me two days ago and asked! I couldn’t believe it. We wound up walking the grounds, just as you and I do, and talked for most of the night. It was so romantic.”

“How lovely!”

“I know it’s not exactly proper to walk around without a chaperone, so please don’t tell anyone, but with my parents gone and my sister living so far, the opportunities to get to know each other would have to be...scheduled. And where’s the romance in that?”

“I won’t tell,” Rey promises. “I’m so happy for you.”

“We really go to know each other that way too. We talked all about our backgrounds and our families. He told me about where he’s from up North. Did you know the citizens there are getting taxed at ridiculously rates? They’re mostly farmers; there’s no nobility like us, and Finn says it’s been really hard on a lot of them.”

Rey frowns, trying not to feel foolish for not fully understanding taxation. “I thought taxes were a good thing?”

“Well, they can be, I think,” Rose answers, brow furrowing a little. “They’re mostly supposed to be funneled back into the community to help people, but according to Finn, the citizens where he lives aren’t seeing the money returned to the community. That’s why when the Prince asked Finn to join him as a knight, Finn agreed. He wants to provide for his family.”

“How noble,” Rey responds, impressed.

“Yes, but...apparently, they’re still not getting the adequate amount of funds Finn had promised them.”

“That’s terrible. Maybe I could talk to Kylo about it? Surely, he can help clear it up.”

Rose’s brow furrows once more and her lips roll as she considers Rey’s question for a moment.

“Maybe hold off for now,” Rose finally answers. “I don’t want to betray Finn’s trust or step on the Prince’s toes. Is that okay?

“Yes, of course.”

They go about their walk, talking about the banquet and other more trivial things. As promised, Rey determines that she won’t tell Kylo about Finn’s situation, but it doesn’t leave her mind for the rest of the day.

She has memories from before she was brought to the castle. Her memories may get more hazy as the years go on, but she does remember what it was like to be hungry and cold because the widow who cared for her seldom had enough money for more than one small meal a day or wonders just how many other citizens in other towns are paying taxes and not seeing the rewards of their labors.

**KYLO**

On the day of the Emperor’s birthday celebration, Kylo begins his day the same as any other. After getting dressed in the garb he’ll wear for the parade, he visits Charlotte in the nursery.

As he holds her in his arms, he marvels at how she’s grown so much in such a short period of time, and he tries to picture what she might look like a year from now or five years from now. Will the thin black curls she currently has grow thicker with age? Will her eyes settle into the light brown color he has or will they become the lighter hazel of her mother's? Will she inherit his ears or will she be lucky and get Rey’s instead?

_ What will their next child look like? _

He swallows as the thought runs through his mind. If the Emperor has his way, they’ll know in nine months’ time.

He and Rey haven’t talked anymore about what’s supposed to happen tonight. Maybe that’s because there’s not much to say. At the same time though, they’ve become close these past few weeks, and it seems to him like that might make it a different experience this time around. Perhaps they’ll be more comfortable around each other? He hopes so. 

Although, maybe it’ll be more awkward now  _ because  _ they know each other on a deeper level. Because while Kylo’s feelings have blossomed into something he hadn’t expected, he’s certain Rey doesn’t feel the same way.

He’s not sure when it happened to him either. He just knows that he finds her presence to be a comfort, that he admires the mother she is to their daughter, that he enjoys talking with her more than he enjoys talking with anyone else, and that he finds her beautiful, no more so than when she smiles at him or at Charlotte.

When the sun begins to shine in earnest through the nursery window, Kylo returns Charlotte to her bassinet and makes his way down the hall to Rey’s chambers, where he walks in on her getting her hair done for the parade.

His breath stutters in his chest as he takes in her gentle and unassuming beauty.

She’s already dressed in her gown for the parade, a slim fitting reddish-orange dress with pieces of fabric bunched up in different areas around the silhouette that are made to look like flowers. The woman doing her hair is currently fastening in a small tiara, one much less assuming than the one she wore on her wedding which is the last time he’d seen her wear one.

His eyes skirt over to the table where she usually takes her meals and he sees remnants of breakfast, indicating that she’s already eaten.

“Sorry, I already ate,” she apologizes, right before wincing as the woman doing her hair tugs too hard. “I saved you some though.”

Looking at her, taking in her beauty and thinking about what will happen later tonight, Kylo finds he no longer has an appetite.

“I think, perhaps, I’ll pass. I’m sorry to disturb you. I didn’t realize you’d be getting ready this early.”

Rey frowns and rolls her eyes, muttering, “Neither did I. I’ve been up for hours.”

Clearly Rey hates this process, but he must silently admit that the results are stunning. She was already gorgeous, but with all the accoutrements, she’s a  _ vision. _

“Would you like me to sit with you, to keep you company?”

“No, thank you. I’ll meet you downstairs at the carriages. Go enjoy your morning.”

Honestly, he’s kind of disappointed in her answer, but he’s not going to defy her wishes, so he bids her goodbye and meanders through the palace, doing nothing but trying not to dwell too much on what the day, and especially the night, will hold.

***

Kylo and Rey watch as the Emperor is helped into the glass carriage which will parade him throughout the capital city. Once he’s settled, Kylo climbs into the open carriage and then offers a hand to Rey, helping her climb in.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, her hand lingering in his for a moment before finally releasing it.

She adjusts herself, smoothing her hands over her dress and gently patting her hair.

“You look fine,” he assures her.

She looks at him, her face awash with anxiety.

“Actually,” he says, taking a moment to clear his throat. “You look beautiful.”

Her eyes, decorated with liner and shadow, widen. “I do?”

He notices that a stray hair has just fallen from her intricate hairdo. He reaches out and tucks it behind her ear. “You do.”

He finds himself reluctant to remove his hand, wanting to keep some part of him connected to her, but certainly she wouldn’t approve of that, so he removes his hand and places them both on his lap.

“Did you visit Charlotte this morning?” she asks, changing the subject.

“I did. Her nurse said there weren’t any problems overnight.”

He notices her shoulders relax at his report. Charlotte’s been feeling better for a few days now, but Rey, like him, is still nearly constantly anxious about her health.

“Good,” she sighs, obviously relieved. “Good.”

When the carriages get moving, they go through the intimidating iron gates that serve as the castle’s main entrance and begin to weave through the cobbled road that leads toward the city.

It’s a surprisingly uncomfortable ride, much more so than riding a horse, and Kylo keeps an eye on Rey, watching her reaction, but she must be used to the bumpiness because she just sits there, hands still in her lap, looking thoughtfully at the trees that line the road.

As they make their way into the city, Kylo begins seeing a growing number of people lining the streets, waving excitedly at them. He watches as Rey inhales, squares her shoulders, and begins waving back with a smile plastered on her face. Following her lead, Kylo lifts his own hand and begins waving to the crowds as well.

“Having fun?” Rey asks, turning to him after about fifteen minutes of waving. Her smile is much more genuine than it was when she was waving at the crowd, and it strikes him as significant that he can notice the difference in her smiles.

He can’t help but smirk at her question because they both know that this is in no way fun. “Oh, definitely." And then more seriously, he adds, "I won’t lie--I miss being on my horse though.”

“Oh?”

Before he can think better of it, he answers, “Yes. But it’s certainly nice being here with you.”

Her smile widens, and to his great surprise, she takes the hand he’s not waving with and holds it in her own.

“It’s going to be a long day. Let’s take a break from waving. Just smiling is okay, too.”

She then slides a little closer to him in the carriage, keeping a hold on his hand. Whereas his is large and rough with callouses, Rey’s is small, soft, and warm, and he thinks it fits perfectly in his own. 

Their hands remain entwined as they smile and occasionally wave to the crowds throughout the city. 

At one point the carriage goes over a large bump in the road, and Ben lets out a grunt.

“Riding a horse is much more natural than... _ this. _ ”

“I miss being able to ride,” Rey sighs wistfully. “I’m not sure it’d come naturally to me anymore.”

“You can practice on my horse.”

“My grandfather won’t allow it.”

He looks at her conspiratorially and says, “I’m sure we could figure something out.”

Her eyes light up as she chuckles.

When they get to the town square, where the largest number of people are waiting for them, the carriages stop. With the help of Hux, the Emperor is helped out of his carriage and slowly but regally makes his way to a wooden platform that has been set up for him to give his yearly address.

Kylo knows this part well because he’s always had a front row seat for, having previously had Hux’s job of assisting the Emperor out of the carriage and onto the stage. Next, the Emperor will give a speech filled with pretty words that mean absolutely nothing, but it’ll be enough to satisfy the crowds that turn out for his once-a-year appearance.

Kylo and Rey remain in the carriage, which faces the platform, as the Emperor signals that he’s ready to speak. For a crowd so large, they fall into silence nearly instantly, straining to hear what he has to say.

For his part, Kylo pretty much tunes the Emperor out. It’s more or less the same speech every year, anyway. Occasionally, he’ll peak at Rey, curious to see if she’s listening to her grandfather, and it appears as if she is. It’s only when he hears his name that he jolts to attention. 

“Another reason we have to celebrate, of course, is the union of my granddaughter Princess Reyanna and the leader of my knights, the now  _ Prince  _ Kylo Ren.”

There is applause and cheering throughout the crowd, and Rey turns to Kylo. The smile that paints her face is surprisingly warm, and it draws a smile from him as well.

“They are already parents to one child, Princess Charlotte, and I suspect soon, I’ll have another great grandchild on the way.”

He says the words in an affectionate tone, though, of course, Kylo can see through them. What’s worse is the warm smile on Rey’s face has grown strained at his comments. His own expression feels tight as well, but he does his best to keep the look in his eyes reassuring.

“There is so much love between them,” he continues on placidly. “In fact, they are approaching their one-year anniversary, and seeing as how you didn’t get to celebrate with them on their wedding day, I think you are all owed at least a kiss.”

The crowd cheers once more.

“What do you say?” the Emperor asks, spurring on the crowd.

Everyone around them goes wild, clapping and roaring with excitement. Kylo looks at the Emperor up on his platform who is staring back expectantly and with glee that only those who know him best recognize to have a dangerous acidity to it. He then turns his attention back to Rey, who at this point looks terrified.

“You okay?” he mumbles, eyes darting from her eyes to her lips.

He sees her swallow and nod.

In response, he gives  _ her  _ a slow, encouraging nod. It’s a promise to her that he’ll do this right. He’ll be quick, gentle, and most importantly, respectful.

She stays still, so he closes the distance between them, touching his lips to hers. They’re still sitting, of course, but he manages to maneuver so that one hand rests on her waist while the other reaches up to cup her cheek.

It’s just a peck, but the moment he feels her relax against him, he finds himself instinctively adjusting so that he can better fit his lips against hers. They stay like that, and he allows himself to revel in this moment for a few seconds before pulling back to find her eyes big, but not with terror. No, she looks surprised—shocked, even—but not scared anymore.

He wonders what that could mean.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will likely be out in the beginning of March. See you then!
> 
> CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER  
> -Sick infant  
> -Mention of pregnancy


End file.
